"In three weeks, I want to be on the cusp of organ failure. I want my body to be just a relief map of veins. I want to be an X-ray with a pulse."

Chickpeas + pressure cooker + food processor or immersion blender = homemade hummus in less than 1h. Why buy it? We have the technology to make our own!

I'm fine with a little beef in my taint—I just don't like taint in my beef, AMIRITE LADIES!!?!?!?!?!?!!? [crumples to floor, face twisted in silent scream]

Not all food.

The K Klan have been friends with him for years, many a vacation they filmed at his house in Mexico. I am ashamed I know this.

HANG ON! I wasn't saying we should stone her to death for being cool and famous. I just meant - I can see the process behind her behaviour now. She's fun, down with doing shots and farting etc. etc. and she likes talking about it in public and making sure we all know about it. And if that's her authentic self then…

Wow, I actually really enjoyed that piece by her friend Laura! Jezebel should hire that girl as a staff writer STAT.

God, I can't remember the last time I puked in front of Miley Cyrus. I need to get out more.

Fuck what if Gwyneth is a cylon and this was the plan all along.

I love how the Goopster has lowered the bar so much that Ms. Jolie even displaying the most basic level of rudimentary self-awareness is applause worthy.

Watch the clip.

He's the wild card, after all.

Ok. I'm taking the bait. But let me begin by saying that I don't know you, and I don't know your experiences, BUT I will say that the best way for me personally to "learn about reality" has been to live in several countries. When I say live, I'm not talking about a four month study abroad stint in college. I am…

I would argue we're already there... so would Princeton.

Ah yes, because people get arrested all the time for dancing to a song on YouTube.

Having backwards, theocratic elements of government does not a theocracy make. Do you need me to Google it for you... or do you think you can handle that? Pretty sure we don't recognize some omnipotent diety as overall Head-of-State, or that a diety has direct contact/bearing with our elected President in this…

I know at times it must feel like we are living in a theocracy, but Monch is right. As a whole, our country is not theocratic. Certain laws inspired by religious doctrine are nothing more but a failing of our legislative system. If we were truly a theocracy, life would be a lot tougher for non-Christians. In case you…

Yeah... except this is no theocracy. Go live in a true theocracy, learn a little bit about reality, then come back and see how "horrible" we have it here.

Dear goodness, I thought Footloose was a fictional musical.