This: "Customers are able to select exactly which ingredients they want using a touchscreen — an ingredient list which also includes items such as jalapeños, grilled mushrooms, and spicy mayo, if you have the lack of self-preservation instincts required to trust McDonald's to prepare any of those things. Burgers…

No, they aren't food...but even mixed with catshit and car tire, they taste amazing when you're stoned.

I hope the debut this thing in Denver round about April the 20th. They'll have so much goddamned money on their hands if they do...

What the hell is a clitoral combat ship...?

Really just shocked...SHOCKED, I say, that the Oakland Raiders didn't make the list. (and yeah, I picked this story up from Deadspin...can't help myself...)

Really just shocked...SHOCKED, I say, that the Oakland Raiders didn't make the list. (and yeah, I picked this story…

That's awesome.

So I totally get that this is the harshest non-banned-for-life penalty in baseball - my question is this: A-rod took steriods, lied about it, took them some more, set a ton of records, had a hall of fame career, but he was continually on the juice...

I miss playing P.A.W.S. and Oregon Trail.

"A Banned Substance"

I think my favorite one is from Victor Cruz about the 'hood getting Zimmerman in less than a year. I'm sure now that he's earning $45.879 million over six years with incentives, he gets down to the 'hood every chance he gets...why I'll just bet he's just like dem po' folks he has such a pulse on.