Unless it was northern CT, in which case it would be a laid-off mall clerk who was pissed off that Friendly’s didn’t serve kielbasa or ziti, and was also murderously fed up with Cox Communications user support.

I second. I grew up in Friendly’s country, and what you want to do is stick to the ice cream. You can get mediocre luncheonette food there, but it’s not their strong point. The ice cream is the thing.

I love the taste and smell of coconut, but when I cook with coconut oil, I can never smell or taste it in the finished product.

Wait, didn’t this actually happen to the writer Anne Lamott and her best friend about 25 years ago?

Fire ants rampant on a field of kudzu.

This brings back memories of my wild youth. You insert a diaphragm after putting spermicide into the concave side, and then leave it in for several hours after sex. It holds a barrier layer of spermicide against the cervix until any remaining sperm are inviable. (If you have sex again during that time window, you…

Psssst.

My parents both liked steaks well done, and in Dad’s case, smothered with onions. I grew up hating steak the way most kids hate Brussels sprouts.

I’m just impressed by their ability to keep those things on! Are there actually pins and clips that work for that purpose?

I hereby suggest that we retire the expression “tramp stamp” and repace it with “Trump stamp”!

When I was 40, I suddenly began to have internal pain during orgasm — a transient dull ache on one side that lasted just long enough to spoil the fun. My doctor ordered an ultrasound, which revealed a benign ovarian tumor. After it was removed — no more pain.

Yup, the Peter Principle at work.

I also don’t understand why a manager would fire a demonstrably good server when an obvious idiot complains. The idiot customer is probably never going to come back anyway, which is just as well for everyone. The server can then keep waiting on of the vast majority of customers who actually appreciate his or her…

In its simplest form, cocktail sauce is a mixture of ketchup (tomato sauce if you’re in Australia) and grated horseradish. A shrimp cocktail is a portion of chilled cooked shrimp served with cocktail sauce for dipping. Usually, it’s served as an appetizer/starter.

Perfect description of what’s going on. There’s always been a strain of homophobia — some of it quite strong — running through the Abrahamic religions. But within most Christian churches in the U.S., it used to be limited to the occasional puritanical sermon about sex and sin. The far right has shoved this out into…

(1.) Self-important shit-for-brains (SISFB) hurls xenophobic insults at an entire demographic. (2.) Business associate of SISFB relies heavily on this demographic as a source of revenue. (3.) Business associate angrily cuts ties with SISFB.

Thanks! I haven’t done any classroom teaching in a few years, but I still sometimes think of that student. I hope she’s realized that there are many things in the world more useful and interesting than the ones found in Jack Chick tracts.

That headline is an insult to people with fecal incontinence. Then again, Gamergate is an insult to feces.

Do they make skinny jeans with a size 14 butt, size 10 knees, and size 6 ankles? ‘Cause then I might wear them.

My mother was in her late 30s, and my father in his mid-40s, when they had me. They were blue-collar folks who didn’t travel or otherwise venture much out of their comfort zones, so their age probably wouldn’t have impacted their other life decisions in too many ways. They also both lived to advanced ages, so I was…