If you want to add vegetables to a store-bought sauce, try sauteeing some cubed or sliced eggplant with some garlic and onion. Then pour the sauce over it and let it simmer for a while. You can add some cooked meat (sausage, hamburger, or chicken) or, if you're vegetarian, some drained cannellini beans.

Not to mention that if one partner in a marriage is marrying up, the other, by definition, is marrying down. Unless they both come from Lake Wobegon.

I was a petite 16 for some years, so i can relate! I'm about a 12 now. A few months ago I asked a salesperson in a department store if they carried petites. He said, "No, but we have some size 2." (I look like a size 2 about as much as I look like John Boehner.)

This has already been happening with petite sections in a lot of stores. It's infuriating. Who wants to shop for clothes online without the option to try anything on?

Are you trying to be excoriated for posting an obnoxious racist image here? Or would you prefer to be studiously ignored for posting an obnoxious racist image here?

Let's see. Obnoxious, egocentric tycoon offers a vapid, already-obscenely-wealthy celebrity $500,000 to attend a party. Vapid celebrity takes the money and agrees to be the obnoxious tycoon's plus-one. Idiotic party crasher then taunts vapid celebrity by dressing up as a racist caricature of her fiancé.

There was a documentary a few years back, called "Married to the Eiffel Tower", about people (usually women) who experience romantic and sexual attraction to inanimate objects. Apparently it's very much a real thing, albeit a rare one.

I used to take them apart and throw away the filling AND the cookies! Never could stand those things, even as a preschooler.

Any woman who doesn't want to nuke anyone during the first fifty or so years of her life either (a) is a lot calmer than the average person of either sex or (b) isn't paying attention.

Make it with Coke Zero and then we'll talk.

Trust me, the request was not received well and was not especially successful. Pity, because they really aren't bad people, but they should have been mature enough to realize how staggeringly clueless and abrasive the whole thing became.

Cable is exceptionally irritating to infrequent TV watchers like Mr. Sububi and me, especially in the 20 or so years since "broadcast" TV reception became pretty much impossible without cable. We gave it up in 2005, when we realized we were spending approximately $10 per actual viewing hour. And we never subscribed to…

I attended a surprise wedding that was billed as a different kind of occasion, with an explicit "no gifts" instruction to guests. Some time later, all the attendees got an e-mail from the couple, explaining that they were just kidding about the "no gifts" thing, and would be especially happy if their guests sent them…

Yup. I remember accidentally tuning into it and inadvertently watching footage of a hysterectomy, about a week before I was scheduled for surgery to remove benign uterine and ovarian tumors. I really wasn't happy about it.

My mom used to make this dessert called Tomato Soup Cake. It's pretty much a spice cake with raisins and cream cheese frosting, but a can of condensed tomato soup is an integral part of the batter. It actually tasted much better than it sounds, but the best part was its horrifying bright-coral color.

I can't get enough sriracha. It tastes good in its own right, but is otherwise sufficiently neutral to go with everything. I've put it on pizza, pasta, stir-fries, curries. burgers (both meat and veggie) and chili. It's completely superseded my previous common denominator, Tabasco; not only is sriracha more…

I can't imagine why he'd do that to a hydrant — he's enough of a douchenozzle at home.

Same thing I did with all my dolls, as well as with many other inanimate objects: I pretended that they were a bunch of fifty-year-old relatives who had boring and pointless arguments with one another all day. It was just another little slice of home.

We briefly had one of those, until we found out that our local Hy-Vee has much better prescription prices even taking the card into account.

Bioderma micellar solution. Best all-around makeup remover I've ever used, and also great for a quick face refresh when the weather is sticky and grimy. I discovered it while living in Canada. It's extremely difficult to find in the U.S., but a family member managed to score a bottle for me at Christmas. I will…