On the opposite side of the spectrum, I expect amazing celebrations for my birthday. But I orchestrate them myself because I’m a grown-ass adult. “No cards or gifts please: just come to my home and imbibe all this lovely alcohol I’ve purchased for all of us as we dance and karaoke and game.”

That’s exactly what I want! It’s my fiance who disagrees - and who will have to be ok with me politely interrupting the entire ceremony if his choice officiant crosses a line in any way I’m afraid of.

Kinda messed up to report this without the follow-up apology - the Gothamist updated with Alexander’s statement 2 hours before this was published:

I’m always wary of social commentary that’s based on “from what I hear”...

I really want one, but it’s a long shot right now.

Still, it’s hard to be active when I want you to have everything you want on that day, you know?

Generally, you use the pronoun they prefer.

I kind of love this story. Best ending.

From my original post:

Thank you!

????

I loved everything about this essay. There’s more to the queer struggle than just fitting in with hetero/cis/normative society, and let’s celebrate that! Let’s remember that we’re just as beautiful (more so!) when we transgress as when we fit in!

Mine too! We actually had a long conversation about how he should talk to his friends/coworkers/etc. last night, because he’s so frustrated with everyone telling him that the best phrase he learn for in wedding planning is “yes, dear.” He has lots of opinions about everything (except the colors). I, on the other hand,…

The sign of a good party.

Oh my god, THIS is why I don’t trust anyone else to do anything for me!

LOVE the Offbeat Bride! I’m reading her book now, and I’ve gotten so many ideas from the site!

The NSFW content on the main site is kind of a problem....I’m going to have to stay off Jezebel for the morning (or limit it to my phone) until that content is pushed down.

I know exactly what I’m talking about - and it’s actually not what you’re talking about. Without knowing enough to speak to the Ludlow rape allegation she discussed aside from what’s been reported here and elsewhere (and therefore reserving any judgement because it seems to be a litigious shitshow that I cannot even…

Same here. It’s appalling that we can’t have an opinion on what constitutes rape, and how much agency some women actually have vs how much they’re being told to rely on an external locus of control without being called out as defending rapists or being rape apologists.

So happy to read this! I honestly loved her first essay, and I can’t wait to read the most recent one (behind the chronicle’s pay wall right now). There are so few feminists out there arguing that young women should be empowered to make mistakes without seeing them as trauma, and I think Kipnis was incredibly…