As a civil litigator I'm super conditioned to say "laws vary by state," especially as it applies to my family asking me legal questions that I don't want to answer.

That takes some serious courage, to admit being an umpire.

ron nick, you, sir,are a monstrous asshole. Shame on you for fucking up your dads game. At least now your pops can go to his deathbed knowing he raised a failure

Who else stopped reading at Gloria Allred?

Where'd all the good people go? Seems like losing hope is easy when you never know if you're upside down financially. Do you remember when people weren't flakes and would say things like I got you? Screw it, better have some banana pancakes and finish washing the dishes in times like these.

These two pseudo intellects make me want to rip hairs off my own scrotum. Willow does not think that times exists? Ask her to hold her breath for 12 minutes and then get back to me....

>> you — you know, there are ways not to perform oral sex if you didn't want to do it.

Photo: AP

I enjoy that half second look the K State dude gives. "Oh shit did I just kill that guy? No? Thank god"

Deadspin Headline - "Southern Utah Player Rejected To Infinity"

Shouldn't the Eagles' PR staff have some sort of policy against their players following other teams?

Remember when Curt Schilling tried to start a gaming company and then proceeded to drive it straight into the ground? Who would have known he was an idiot?

So no beer, they have to move the tournament to the winter when all the European leagues are still going on, you might go to jail if you're gay, and they are basically using slave labor to build stadiums which will have no purpose after the tournament. FIFA makes the NFL look like Amnesty International.

Kurt Warner isn't taking to the internet to call for genocide, though, and he does have that going for him.

"I'm not buying the Evolutionary Theory that one species transforms into another. But, if we're talking about the idea that every species can adapt over time, then I'm all in."

So, wait, the dude that believes in an invisible omnipresent being who can blink entire worlds into existence is asking the evolutionist for evidence of HIS beliefs? Let me know how that works out for ya.

No monkeys to humans, true, but I've seen a QB turn into a squawking ass, so that's something.

My stepdad, for one, is super excited to hear about a Mexican losing his job to a middle-aged white guy.

The "Cancer kids" look awesome. Also, fuck the fact that there are "Cancer kids".