When did Liverpool change their theme song to "You'll Never Walk Funny Alone?"

They are gonna be big-ass fractures when I'm through with him!

Should've sent them a big old plate of figs instead.

@HowardRoarkLaughed: I thought sending her to Florida to cover televised collegiate volleyball WAS the prank.

At 6-0 in Austin, you get tail by the score. At 4-2 in Austin, you get a summons at your door.

Mr. Bryant's attorney says this is clearly a case of mistaken identity and that his client has never once "gotten busy in a Burger King bathroom" as is alleged. The real big-nosed perpetrator remains at large...

There hasn't been a Milton this deep in a dong scandal since that chorus girl incident when Texaco Star Theater was still on the air...

@I Like Cheap Beer: Leave the gun, take the figs.

I suppose calling Deadspin and its denizens a "media organization" is a much more polite term than "renegade band of misfits," "motley collection of wisecracking buffoons," or a "clusterfucking clownshow of the highest order." Very nice of him, all things considered.

Bad luck on her part. How was she supposed to know that Boynton would be the one guy not named Kane, Toews or Keith that the Hawks wouldn't trade this year?

An extra special edition of the Deadspin Funbag — now with more funbags!

Well, if Favre had just kept "the spread" covered, none of this would have happened.

"How much were you and the slut paid? 30 pieces of silver?"

Wow, these people are angry. You'd think we were making fun of a dying horse or something.

@Donnie_Iris: +1 Washtub

@hugesunglasses: Absolutely glorious. Not the dong, the jersey.

Wow. The next guy who came up to him using a Michael Clarke Duncan voice and asking if his name was "Cofee like the drink but not spelt the same" was really gonna get it.

Somewhere, someone at the NFL shop just ordered a crapload of inch sign ( " ) letters to fill a bunch of new jersey orders.

@David Hume: "All the President's (Se)men?"

She's saving the inner thigh for a Boston Rod Sex tattoo.