"...in the latest problem to hit the venue from hidden snakes to outbreaks of dengue."

Favre: "I've got my hands full..."

When Rooney catches him, Macheda will be "non-working class" and "unable to speak."

This looks like a job for Carl Mon-day! Mon-day! Mon-day!

He was just researching a planned remake of "Stroker Ace," featuring Dick Trickle.

When Coach Scott sends you to the showers, it's a one way trip.

Meanwhile, poor Pete Rose has to walk around naked across the street from the stadium, with no butts to penetrate with his corked bats.

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: I cancelled because my paperboys kept drowning, the paper kept disintegrating before I got to the sports page, and they hired Mariotti and had the nerve to give him an oxygen tank.

Bears fans: "Oh sure. He can hit the hole in the offseason!"

Bahrain finally learned the timeless lesson that they always screw you on Togo orders.

If this doesn't show how bush league Mariotti is, nothing does. All the cool kids get charged with felonies.

Sending a German to the showers? There's a switch...

Lenny Dykstra, but someone will have to inform him that the plaque is only a virtual plaque and can't be melted down for cash.

@vodkanaut: Jumbo Jets vs. Whale Sharks?

I picture him like Kevin Spacey in The Usual Suspects, walking funny, leaving the jail — only no one comes to pick him up. Keyser So-so. If only we could get the "And poof, he's gone" part.

@Daveinva: Worse — that's not a stool. That's the case they carry him in.

@bevraj of choice: +1 There are no great moments in that history.

Excuse me, Miss? A Mr. OchoCinco is on the line and would like to cordially invite you to Lobsterfest.

Detroit: Mike Greenberg: will be wetting himself in fear for his life(whether or not Chris Broussard's report is wrong).

It's a total disgrace and should be addressed immediately. I'm speaking of course about that sweater.