Journalists are already pointing out several glaringly dubious anecdotes in the excerpts—like Trump responding “Who’s that?” at a mention of John Boehner, the former House Speaker he for years publicly criticized—which seem like a stretch even for this administration.

The first law stops the robots from fighting back.

Welcome Koa! Excited to see what you do and super glad Jezebel will continue to get us through the dumpster fires that make up our current existence.

I mean it’s not like it’s their job...

If there were aliens known to the US government, 45 would be privy to the information, and he would have blurted it out by now.

“I will be the best NFL owner that you can imagine. I will immediately address the Colin Kaepernick situation and put him in the running for next year’s staring quarterback...But also I will have the best halftime show, the best selection of music, and we will win Super Bowl after Super Bowl.”

This is the only place anyone should check for news about Donald Trump’s approval rating:

Fuck a bee-Bench Sander looks a little deer-in-headlights.

If Roy Moore is elected, I doubt he will be allowed to serve in the senate.

The GOP sold its soul 35 years ago with Reagan. The rest is just shit circling down the drain into a herpes infected cesspool.

I’m confused - is the wife of the questioning officer trans? If not, then what’s his point? “Trans people are subjected to police violence” - “well, my wife has never mentioned it to me”. Which, if she is, then it seems odd he would be “questioning” the state in a WMP way?

Which is bullshit anyway because during slavery times there were White abolitionists, just like during Dustin Hoffman’s “different time” there were men who were openly against this sort of shit. This whole thing seems to be designed to say that we can only hold people to the standard of the shittier people from their…

As punishment, Roy Moore had to write a 10 page essay about why it it wrong to touch 14-year-olds, before joining the Senate.

I can’t believe that you are linking to Amazon and therefore suggesting that people buy this trash. I don’t care how many juicy, greasy receipts Corey Lewandowski serves up, he’s a brutish, racist, sexist piece of trash who manhandled a reporter and did everything he could to get a white supremacist fool into office.…

Really? Let’s crucify Moore and see if he rises from the dead, if so he’s got my vote.

Holy fucking shit that update. I audibly gasped. Christmas is coming early!

Even better, he’s prepared to testify that Trump directed him to make contact with the Russians, and is prepared to serve as a witness against Trump and his family. Happy Friday everyone!

SING MIKEY SING!!!! I will personally drive a bus to DC for you to throw people under! Name all the names! DOOO ITTT.

Speaking of rats in the White House, Michael Flynn just pleaded guilty to one count of knowingly and willfully lying to the FBI.

In other news, Michael Flynn is pleading guilty to lying to the FBI today.