Us real D&D nerds would never hang out with someone like this. Basement dwellers have standards too!

What’s the point of the lie anyway? “Tim Cook Apple” would still have made no sense in that context.

Literally guffawed at work at his response. “Yeah I think forced teen marriage is ok because lifelong commitment to rape, and also the thought of 14 year-olds fooling with one another makes me all hot and bothered. You shouldn’t be surprised. Come on my show!”

The guest list is probably all millionaires and up - for all you know they’ll have a helicopter limo service airlifting everyone from here to there.

Well, anti-semitic offenses are on the rise apparently. But so are islamophobic offenses. Also homophobic offenses. Basically the straight white people are being increasingly transparent assholes to everyone else, which, Megan? You’re part of the problem so shut up.

Wrong. High frequency traders do look for the shortest cable, and the fastest computing power and network adapters. It’s very much a tech game. That’s why they rent space in the exchanges themselves (known as co-locating) to park their servers as close to the source as possible.

Whaaaat you mean he didn’t immediately stare into the camera and confess live on air? Well color me shocked.

Is gasoline?

I real-life know a pretty popular online money guru. He’s been at this for like 10+ years now, big following. He writes about saving pennies on credit cards and deals and 10-step methods to financial independence and what not. What he’s not telling people is this:

So poor people should work work work because bootstraps, but also should stay at home to raise kids. Got it.

Oh god that trailer is so... American. Think I’ll just re-read the series.

I have the BIGGEST man-crush right now.

Incidentally, I hope this kid gets a good, hard kick in the pants every day of the rest of his life.

If I had any chance of getting the wife on board with this, I’d be all over it.

It does though. And also the players can suffer grievous injuries.

Okay I’m on board with AOC and all, but there’s one thing I don’t get. “A guaranteed job for every American”. How does that work? Does someone just snap his fingers and Oprahs a job at everyone in sight? What’s the job? How do you check for qualifications, if any? And if none, what if the guy doesn’t want that job you’…

With a suitcase full of cocaine.

I mean at this point Trump could tweet that the sky is blue and I’d still go fact check it. A shady poll somehow in his favor right after SOTU is barely worth an eyeroll.

Hey now! There are also partnerships!

Judge Perv: “Also have you seen how she was dressed? Totally asking for it.”