“Whoops I got caught so now I’m gonna stop doing it” is also gonna be my get-out-of-jail defense when I get busted for some heinous crime. That’s how it works, right?

It’s bullshit is what it is.

I love how Kimmel, like all the late show guys, can deliver an impassioned editorial about the horror of Charlottesville, and a few weeks later genially chat with the very people who put us there like it’s all water under the bridge.

So this career that we were oh so scared of jeopardizing. Surely by now he’s the successful CEO of a company poised to change the world for the better, yes?

Whaaaat, the Trumpministration going after a woman with all guns out for basically no reason at all? Why, I never saw this one coming.

Considering the author’s iPhone 7 is less than a year old, I don’t think he “has to” buy a new phone at all.

I get the someone can be incompetent at Presidenting, but how is it possible to be so bad at eating pizza?

Oh yeah I totally see it. Much better with the grading, definitely.

Because people eat that shit up like ice cream. The last elections in France, every candidate claimed at some point that they were the one that was anti-“system”. None of them, of course, cared to define what they meant by that. How can rich, well-fed, well-educated, white and mostly male career politicians, heirs to…

Obvious solution: abandon this account, make a new burner!

Trump decides to defund and disband the Commission in 3... 2... 1...

If Mother Nature comes in with her big girl boots and stomps Mar-a-Lago out of existence, I will never stop laughing.

THANK YOU. It’s like, Haiti was battered less than a year ago by Matthew - another Cat 5-turned-4-just-before-landfall - but hey, it’s aaaaall been quiet for 12 years.

‘Why?’ He actually said to me, ‘They’re only girls. They’re a bunch of girls. What do they need more money for?’

I mean, that arrangement has existed since at least 2010: le link.

Can you go into why that outcome made you feel like crap? Seems like it was good for your client, no?

My father tells me that he visited my grandfather in the hospital after he slipped in the shower. He was ok, a few bruises, but my dad says he had the feeling it was the last time he saw him. Sure enough, my grandfather passed a few days later. Not only do people sometimes seem to know their time is up, but apparently…

Anyone who believed anything that came out of his mouth, really.

I think China has already publicly stated that if NK fires the opening shot they’re on their own, but if the US starts it they’ll be forced to defend their ally. So as long as everyone keeps their cool China shouldn’t join the party. I’m sure they - and Russia - prefer NK as it is: a slow-burning pain in the US’s…

And our commitments among the allies are ironclad.