I SAID THAT I WAS AT THE BERLIN WALL THE NIGHT IT FELL DOWN, THAT I WAS MUGGED, AND THEN I MET THE POPE, AND THEN I SAVED EVERYONE FROM IMMINENT DOOM IN THE SECOND, THIRD, AND FIFTH IRAQI WARS.

Great. I'm probably going to have another weird sex dream about him tonight and I'm NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

He looks exactly like my friend Misty when she got super drunk at Grad Night and saw her ex kissing a girl from another school and cried through her mascara and wiped her eyes like "Whatever. I'm fine! Let's go on Space Mountain!" And then she threw up.

I can only attest to my own story and that is that I almost lost my man after a fight and then he said he never loved me and he would leave and pack his bags and also take the children so I said awesome, I could use the vacation. Then they left and for three months I ate freezer pizza whenever I wanted but it was only…

I can only boggle at the fact that Dr. Trust is so aptly named, Robin Jane!

Ableism: the word to use when you don't like what someone said but can't think of a reason why it makes you angry.

I

omg my mind is so changed

Are you seriously comparing people who eat meat to the KKK?

You know, there's a really ugly history of historically oppressed groups being dehumanized as animals. Black people were apes and monkeys. Jews were rats. Women are bitches. So comparing "animal rights" to human civil rights is a really shitty thing to do.

wait, am I supposed to be eating black people?

can we all just give me the superiority trophy and have it be completely un food related

OMG THIS GIF IS EVERYTHING THIS MOVIE WAS EVERYTHING THAT EAGLE WAS EVERYTHING

I love it when people compare the rights of human beings to those of animals and think it doesn't make them look completely fucking ridiculous.

lol what even is this

I eat meat but I do try to minimize the amount that I eat because the overuse of antibiotics and methane from cow farts are seriously damaging the environment and our health.

I feel terrible for those meat-eater people because there is nowhere else in NYC to get a meat-based meal.

literally everything i know about you is flawless and baller and amazing and i am a huge fan.

A booger picked from someone's boyfriend's nose, for $100, and a tragicomically misguided sense of pride and honour. I was 18 and.... not sober.