"But if that's the case then why does she need this idiot's help picking the witches off? Why can't she murder them using voodoo and leave the assassin — who is as interesting as unseasoned mashed potatoes even when we know he's a murderer — completely out of it?"

Oh, whatever my steely reserve cannot be pierced by webcomicky nonsense.

*Reads*

WHAT ARE ALL THESE FEELINGS?!

I really want to be a fly on the wall in these pitch meetings to see this "creative" process unfold. Seriously, what moron is dumb/clueless/insensitive/oblivious/ignorant enough to pitch this, and yet still finds a room full of equally ignorant people to approve it?!

I protest Nan receiving demerits for saving cute helpless boys and thereby GOING AFTER HERS even in the midst of a Zombie Swarm. Gettin' It Despite Revenants (whatever I know that doesn't work, I tried!!)

Maybe he was trolling the professor in a paper on appropriation by, as a white man, committing an act of appropriation of the work of a gay man and a woman of color! Because, like, it's like totally meta!!! Kidding. Give this boy an A ... in utterly failing as a student and a human being ...

That .gif is awesome. It makes me sad that my work now blocks uploading reaction gifs because I have an "I literally love you" one with your name on it.

YOU GUYS!! LOOK AT HIS LITTLE SPOTS!! AND HIS TUFTED EARS!!!

Quote the Raven: Gimme more!

I have zero eye for fashion and never would have pegged any of their clothes as belonging to particular designers and high end brands. Particularly as a lot of them are just kind of...meh. What justifies those prices?!

I've given up on rational minds prevailing on the gun control debate. From now on whenever it comes up, I'm going to just go look at pictures of puppies on the interwebs.

Why is she trying to blind that poor puppy with its own ears?!

It's remarkable that one of the miscreants forwarded this email to Jezebel as if under the belief that everyone sympathize with THEM.

But wait, she awesomely swam across the freakin' Straits of Florida in mighty Poseidon's domain! Shouldn't she be a Nereid (nymphs of the sea) as a opposed to a Naiad (nymphs of the rivers)?

Never too many cooks in this spontaneous poetic stew!

Oh my GOD. Look as his little spots!! And his tufted ears!!!

I am STUNNED and AWED by this guy's grace. If I tried to do that on an elliptical I'd be a tangled bruised mess of limbs brought down by gravity's heartless embrace.

Well, at least they weren't quite as bad as the Belgians?

That is my favorite Emily one-liner. And that's saying something. Bless you.

I am going with a Danes family clean sweep on this one. Luke or Jess all the way.