Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, you'll have no music classes in school because there's not enough money. You'll also be missing out on art and woodshop, and your other classes will consist of memorizing test answers. Of course, the rote jobs are all being sent overseas so you'll be completely unprepared for…

@Paprika Jones: Kitty!

@Buggie: Pretty sure Philo wants to marry a toaster.

@Jalawson: S'eek and ye shall find peace.

@badmutha: It is a grizzly process, and I can understand wanting help. But I can also understand why he would be so polarizing.

@Crinkelbert_Fishtybuns: It's a fiction book called What the Scarecrow Saw. A friend had duplicates and gave it to me.

I'm reading a book about the internment of Japanese Americans during WWII, and I still can't believe it. I have to think that if our government started doing something like that today, I would be screaming outside of city hall, standing in front of tanks and throwing myself on railroad tracks to stop it. I would…

@Easybreezy: That is awe-inspiring. But I didn't mean "having" in the sense of giving birth to. I meant the scary part would be, "okay, they're here! Two little babies who will turn into children at the same time and you have to take them home. Have fun!"

I see quite a few people mentioning episiotomies, and I'd put that on my list too if I hadn't witnessed this conversation MULTIPLE TIMES after my cousin gave birth:

@KLondike5: Interesting. I've looked briefly into phobia therapies, but they all seem to involve immersion. And as I'm pretty sure having a spider crawl on me would put me into a catatonic state, I'll just live with the phobia, thanks.

@morninggloria: So also on your list would be Triffids, Morlocks and Will Smith?

I don't know that I'm so afraid of my own death because, while it would be very disappointing, my death would really be someone else's problem. But by the same token I absolutely fear the death of loved ones. And I have a spider phobia, but that's different. Like, I'm more afraid of my reaction to spiders than my…

@Puddlefish: Do you think they'll fight it and pull the old "it could have been me, but it was really my sister with my license and since you don't know for sure you can't ticket either of us" defense?

No, Spencer, I do not forgive you for being a one-dimensional cliche.

I'm on Depo, which I love in most other regards, but it does give me bad PMS when I'm due for my shot. And one of the weirder things this has taught me is how hormones can affect everything, so deeply. And if you ever thought all women experienced hormones the same way (well, you were an idiot, but), the same hormones…

@Valois: Ha! Every testicle has a silver lining.

@mandiandi: Correction: Blue is a BLUE BITCH. Aww-yeah. :)

I listened to part of the Gloria Allred press conference this morning while I was getting ready for work and it was hysterical. Basically Allred said, "this is not acceptable because he should have been talking exclusively about my client and how much he loved her because this is ALL ABOUT HER" and then the mistress…

@QuinnButes: My mom is Wendy too! And also awesome.

@morninggloria: I would think it would be clear, with Santa's history of chimney-crawling, that he uses Floo powder to spy on us, and has for centuries. Therefore, the correct person to address this matter is the Minister of Magic. Let's all send owls.