So... no grooms then?

@spiraloflife: I haven't been looking for these, but now that you mentioned them, I don't know how I can live without them.

@J.D.Regent: Wasn't there a cross-posted Gawker article a couple days ago about how they were going to try harder to make the ads more obvious as ads and not articles? Because I keep getting suckered into wondering why Jezebel suddenly thinks so highly of vampires.

@bananastand: I think my cat has that book! "Sit on him, clean yourself, then fall asleep. Try to shed. This will claim him as your own, and no one else may have him."

@hortense: You remember those Life cereal commercials? "Hey Mikey, he likes it!" Apparently, "Mikey" still uses that to try to pick up girls. Or did when I saw something about him years ago, but he was way too old for that, even then.

@lilbobbytables: Elton John's production company is working on a movie that starts out like Pride and Prejudice and then aliens attack and start killing people. I'm not kidding.

@hortense: I'm trying to think of an ad campaign that would similarly offend men. At the moment, the best I can come up with is a grid of which restaurant each of these guys can take you to. But that could be just as offensive to women.

You know, after all the stories we've been having lately about men shooting up their families, I'm just glad he took it out on himself instead of other people.

@utensil42: No, that's what GWB did. Remember Harriet Meiers? We don't need to be borrowing from that playbook.

@..now it's just Aesop's Foibles.: I can't believe I'm about to use this word:

@Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.: Wasn't there a study published a few years ago that said really, women only want sex to last 3-5 minutes? And there was a big outcry because a bunch of people interpreted "sex" as including foreplay, cuddling, and anything that might actually get her off and the study…

This dovetails nicely with the bridesmaids dress contest further up on the main page.

I must say, reading these comments, I am shocked — SHOCKED — that so many of you seem to believe you do not fit these categories. I mean, it's almost as if stereotypes, even if "proven" true for a majority of the people being discussed, do not even come close to explaining who a person is or any of the complicated…

@la.donna.pietra: Neil Gaiman and JK Rowling are both correct!

@nessalicious: They're called cargo pants. So they had the right idea, just the wrong article of clothing. Also, not nearly enough men carry candies. But that is a candy ad just waiting to be made. "Lollipops- have them ready to offer cuties, and can survive the occasional run through the wash!"

@Hooplehead: See, I can totally see this with boys. The "hard to handle" one would have his hair greased and dirty knees, and a similar scowl to the little girl, and the "easy to handle" boy would be wearing a sweater vest and khakis and already sitting, as if he put himself in time out.

There's also not a lot of women in coal mines, I understand.

@RisaPlata: I don't understand what happened. What I was TRYING to say:

@phalenopsis:

@GirlSailor: Take a million pictures of me dressed up for Halloween