Honeycrisp apple + sharp cheddar.

Ditching holiday plans isn’t evil - it’s a reflection of your acceptance of reality and your belief in science.

Ain’t no “kind of” about it. Portholes are really pushing my buttons.

Jesus Tap-dancing Christ - I cannot believe there is any question here.

Just like crab lice or surplus Amway product - if you can’t get rid of it yourself, just give it to somebody else.

I’ve started by collecting random bits of furniture & strategically displaying the pieces throughout my home.... Bed, nightstand and dresser in one room; a table & 4 matching chairs in another. My collection has outgrown the home’s interior... I had to put a pair of Adirondack chairs on the front porch.

Aside from an unfortunate, tequila-fueled incident in 2007, I’ve only been cutting my own hair since March.

Aside from an unfortunate, tequila-fueled incident in 2007, I’ve only been cutting my own hair since March.

Remington Shortcut Pro is what I’m using. Rechargeable, water-washable, and absolutely murders the requisite quarantine buzz cut.

Remington Shortcut Pro is what I’m using. Rechargeable, water-washable, and absolutely murders the requisite…

The best way I’ve found to boost your credit score is to demonstrate that you don’t need credit.

Leftover chicken wings are perfect.

No love for Chef John’s Spicy Tuna Rice Bowl? For shame. This is absolutely addicting stuff.

So, a horse walks into a bar. Bartender says “Hey, buddy - why the long face?”

Baggage claim is one of those things that has completely destroyed my faith in humanity. If we can’t get this right, we don’t deserve to make it as a species.

Pfft... Drive?

Dammit.

2 fingers of Scotch during the 4pm daily wrap-up.

Google maps tells me I’m 28 miles from Schobel’s as I type this...

Awfully similar to buttermilk pie, a staple from my po-white-trash Southern childhood.

Not to throw a wet blanket on everything, but this is one area where you really need to know your food’s source.