It’s nice when LBJ reminds us that he actually is capable of playing like one of the two best players on the planet.

What does it say about a party whose last example of a successful president left office in 1989, died over a decade ago, and people becoming old enough to vote were not even born yet the last time he was seen in public? The GOP is delusional if they think holding up Reagan’s image has the same impact today as it did…

“But it’s dripping everywhere!”

“Shut up and watch your team get blown out by 23 points at home.”

...And yet still looses by 23 points at home.

A fate sadly identical to the Mouseketeer classes of 1987, ‘94, and ‘98. (Michael Eisner thought it was hilarious.)

If I had the offer to sail on Titanic II, I would say no. Not because of “curses” or superstition, but because being on a vessel called fucking “Titanic” would be a constant reminder of what could potentially happen. That would be miserable. It’s the same reason I’d turn down a free trans-Atlantic flight if they were…

Goddamnit! Being from Cleveland, I want to hate Steph Curry—want to hate him with every fiber of my being... But I can’t do it.

As of now, he’s right about the Cowboys never winning another Super Bowl. Their last win was in 1995 and they have not even appeared in the Super Bowl since.

We’re talking about a Michigan Man here. I’m sure he meant “winning” only to remember that isn’t something the school has been interested in doing since the mid 2000’s.

But, it’s a warm-weather stadium...So, no further questions! Here’s your Super Bowl!

Who cares if your field is shit? The most important factor for hosting the premiere championship game of a sport originating in the Midwest/ Northeastern US and traditionally played during autumn thru winter is having a warm-weather stadium or a dome!

“There are lots of people I’d like to thank for helping me get here. First of all, the Houston Texans for firing to let me coach for a team that wins in the playoffs and in championship games— I wouldn’t be here without you, Houston!”

Right now I’m working on a kabuki adaptation of Shakespeare’s Othello (Othello is an Inue in this version) that was conceived by kabuki master Shozo Sato and directed by one his former students.

Take it easy. Some struggle with humor that doesn’t have canned laughter to kill all traces of subtlety. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go back to watching Ow, My Balls! on the Violence Channel.

A turd on an orange field can double nicely as a Cleveland Browns logo.

Scientists, what have they done for us? I’ll let media figures likely suffering from CTE do my thinking for me, thank you!