"I REGRET NOTH—-(hrumph!)"

In their defense, they've always been hit or miss. Producing an entire episode in one week, from writing the first draft to the broadcast, is a mind-boggling feat. It ensures their topical stuff is always current, but, it also means there's hardly time to revise anything. Unevenness is the price of the way they work.

When it comes to 5th generation fighters, I get that we want them to be carrier capable. But, why are we dumping so much cash into the developing the F-35 when the F-22 already works and has a stronger performance envelope? Wouldn't it be easier to retrofit F-22s with catapult tow bars and tail hooks? Am I missing…

Trick plays are the best! In 1993, for my 12th birthday, my parents took me to a Browns game and we sat in the old, Municipal Stadium Dawg Pound—It was heaven. I got beer spilled on me and my parents let me chant "asshole" at the Dolphins (They wouldn't let me throw stuff, though I did high-five a guy who nailed a…

You're not kidding! When I lived in Austin I got stung by one of these things. (if one ever lands on your arm, don't try to swat it away!) I didn't know what the hell happened after that. Never before or since have I ever felt that much pain: I actually thought I was dying. However, I never screamed because I couldn't…

"Jameis, dude, you're acting really immature." —Maurice Clarett

Yeah, Mizzou sure kicked the shit out of that weak ass Big Te...Oh. Fuck.

Ohio State lost to Virginia Tech, Michigan State lost to Oregon. No disclaimer is necessary.

Remember a couple years ago when there was the backlash against artists like Lana Del Ray for using their/their parents' wealth to promote their meager talent, and people like Mackelmore got called out for writing about topics beyond their realm of experience? I'm sure glad that's over.

It's amazing he walked away. Helmets and neck-restraints are great, but the inertia in a situation like that has to be insane. Going very fast to perfectly still in a fraction of a second still means all that energy has to go somewhere. Protection or no, the human body has trouble with stasis changes happening that…

Back in Houston I had a voice teacher who knew Marshall Applewhite from before the Heaven's Gate days. She said he was deeply conflicted about who he was and had a "seeker" personality (e.g. he was looking for an ideology that could make sense of his issues and self-loathing). As hurtful and misguided as his actions…

I always thought God was more of the Angelfire type.

LA School Crossing Guard: I SAID CROSSING ON THE GREEN, NOT IN BETWEEN, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

A unique instance of a pair of men where the one wearing an acid washed denim suit jacket can walk away the more dignified of the two.

Goddamnit! Beat me to it.

It's a shame the NFL doesn't have a bigger presence in France. Those cats know how to fire a motherfucker.

That's actually something that sounds like it could work.

The Flash in TV/film might never work. In comics—a visually static medium—the Flash can be drawn in an powerful pose with streaks to inform movement. It winds up looking like a cool Futurist painting. The optics of the Flash work in still pictures.

9-year-old me is actually pretty stoked about this.