Goodell needs to resign. This whole clusterfuck illustrates that he is either a callous sociopath, an embarrassingly incompetent dimwit, or both.

Would settle for his resignation/firing, but I'm actually hoping for something along these lines...

The NFL's handling of this, from start to finish has been appalling and Goodell, as commissioner, is ultimately responsible. To be clear, there are plenty of heads that should roll for this, but Goodell's must the first in the basket. His actions have shown that he is either morally bankrupt or shamefully…

(Starting quarterback's cleats slip on the hard, uneven surface of cinder blocks. Starting quarter back falls and fractures his tibia in three places because the ground is strewn with goddamn cinderblocks). GO TEAM!

"After seeing this I decided to give Neil the next 45 years out of respect (and I was kind of afraid of him)." —Grim Reaper

It's even more astonishing that this is not the first time a company drilling for oil in Louisiana has made such a disaster happen. http://www.damninteresting.com/lake-peigneur-…

Brine in the Corne hole: sounds like an enema I never want to experience.

I can has a chlorine canister?

The Motherfucker with the Hat was one hell of a play.

This might be a unique where a species isn't endangered enough.

In high school (late 90's) I had a teacher do a section on the Gaia hypothesis. In fairness to my teacher, he didn't present it completely uncritically. Also, I'm not really sure Gaia is really pseudoscience so much as a theory that has been rigorously examined and seems on the way to being discredited.

It would probably be more practical to mail out thank you letters to the Miami fans—both of them.

REMEMBER THAT THING OZZY OSBOURNE PISSES ON AND NOBODY OUTSIDE OF TEXAS GIVES A DRY FUCK ABOUT!

Strunk and White made the best masturbation material!

What kind of whiskey pairs well with shame and grief? I'm looking for something to responsibly enjoy by the quart.

There's no need to worry about Waters. This scandal didn't involve a 230 lbs. dude punching a woman in the face at a night club, insurance fraud, or tattoo parlor owners under investigation by the FBI for drug trafficking, so it's model behavior by Ohio State standards. Hell, this is Ohio! Waters can resign from OSU…

...And here's a still from Pina Bausch's 1977 dance piece "Blaubart." FX is the best at plagiarism! Sorry, it's a "borrowed motif" when networks do it.

I sincerely hope that Oscar Wilde was responsible for at least half the anal sex slang in the late 19th century.

Idiots on the field can make almost any day worth getting out of bed.

A person with a Detroit Tigers logo as an avatar is giving shit to teams for their inability to win championships?