Goodell needs to resign. This whole clusterfuck illustrates that he is either a callous sociopath, an embarrassingly incompetent dimwit, or both.

Would settle for his resignation/firing, but I'm actually hoping for something along these lines...

The NFL's handling of this, from start to finish has been appalling and Goodell, as commissioner, is ultimately responsible. To be clear, there are plenty of heads that should roll for this, but Goodell's must the first in the basket. His actions have shown that he is either morally bankrupt or shamefully…

(Starting quarterback's cleats slip on the hard, uneven surface of cinder blocks. Starting quarter back falls and fractures his tibia in three places because the ground is strewn with goddamn cinderblocks). GO TEAM!

It's even more astonishing that this is not the first time a company drilling for oil in Louisiana has made such a disaster happen. http://www.damninteresting.com/lake-peigneur-…

Brine in the Corne hole: sounds like an enema I never want to experience.

The Motherfucker with the Hat was one hell of a play.

It would probably be more practical to mail out thank you letters to the Miami fans—both of them.

REMEMBER THAT THING OZZY OSBOURNE PISSES ON AND NOBODY OUTSIDE OF TEXAS GIVES A DRY FUCK ABOUT!

Strunk and White made the best masturbation material!

What kind of whiskey pairs well with shame and grief? I'm looking for something to responsibly enjoy by the quart.

There's no need to worry about Waters. This scandal didn't involve a 230 lbs. dude punching a woman in the face at a night club, insurance fraud, or tattoo parlor owners under investigation by the FBI for drug trafficking, so it's model behavior by Ohio State standards. Hell, this is Ohio! Waters can resign from OSU…

Idiots on the field can make almost any day worth getting out of bed.

A person with a Detroit Tigers logo as an avatar is giving shit to teams for their inability to win championships?

On behalf of Northeast Ohio, let me encourage Miami to put this in perspective. Sure, South Beach may be losing LeBron's talents. It happens. But look at what you've gained in the last year: endemic Dengue Fever! Cleveland doesn't have that! Nobody does! And, if that's not enough, you're probably going to be the first…

Okay, South Beach, sure, you may be losing LeBron and his talents. It happens. But look at what you've gained in the last year: endemic Dengue Fever! Cleveland doesn't have that! Nobody does! And, if that's not enough, you're probably going to be the first US city to have year-round out breaks of Chikungunya virus!…

Another example of professionalism from the Keystone Cops NYPD.

WEWS Cleveland is now reporting that Bath Police are there at the request of LeBron's security team.

These brave men and women will leave no stone unturned in their attempt to find LBJ's hairline.

Come on Cleveland, it's important to get our hopes up! We have to set our expectations high so the inevitable disappointment will be palpable. We've got a half-century of tradition to carry!