Nice work.

Psh, whatever! Everybody knows illness is caused when miasmatic vapors, which are created when the celestial bodies orbiting the Earth fall out of alignment, aggravate bodies that have been weakened due to an imbalance of the Four Humors.

Let me clarify what I meant. The Little Ice Age alone didn't decimate the population of Europe. What it did was set off the chain of events that caused the decline. The first major event was the Great Famine that lasted from around 1317 to 1322. Even after the famine ended, food production remained down and hunger…

This guy.

It's hard to qualify the worst—even of the three examples you gave—since each threatens quality of life in a different way. The creationism-as-legitimate-science movement might have the potential to do the most damage if it fosters a culture where evidence based policy making is discarded. The long term impact of that…

The best estimation one could make in this case would cover a date range. The Jaguars logo tells you that it is 1995 at the earliest. That version of the Jaguars logo, along with the Bucco Bruce and Oilers logos, were retired in 1998. So, it means we're talking 15 to 18 years old. It also means he could've bought the…

If Incognito gets cut, he can a least take comfort knowing he will fit in when he's living in a van down by the river.

Same goes for people from Cleveland. We will sooner suck down a bowl of toxic sediment dredged from the floor of the Cuyahoga River than suffer a bite of that diarrhea sludge.

Having the ability to use things like punctuation, citable facts (as opposed to making sensationally broad conclusions without having any specific details to support them), and ideas that move from one into the next logically (as opposed to babbling out your stream of consciousness as it races around like a…

You have to look at it from his point of view. If he's a substitute teacher, he was probably shooting smack to deal with the incredible pressure that comes with being one of Alabama's most distinguished scholarly alumni.

So, if not Jenny McCarthy, which celebrity's unfounded and delusional claims should I use for the foundation of my critical life decisions?

MAJOR LEAUGE BASEBALL HAS GOT A LOT OF NERVE MAKING US LISTEN TO "AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL!" I'M TIRED OF THESE IMMIGRANT MUSICIANS LIKE IRVING BERLIN TAKING JOBS FROM REAL AMERICAN SONGWRITERS! THANKS OBAMA!

America the Beautiful has always struck me as a better choice for a nation anthem than the Star Spangled Banner. As an anthem, a song that is meant to be emblematic of a national character, America the Beautiful, the theme of which states the ideal "America is a vast and varied place, but the fact that it belongs to…

The krokodil epidemic has made its way to Ann Arbor.

That's actually the premise Bill Murray's holding out for on Ghostbusters 3. He just wants it to be 165 minutes of him throwing spears in to densely packed crowds students. I'll admit it's different, but there's a chance he could make it work.

People from Northern Ohio never touch Cincinnati chili because chili on spaghetti is fucking disgusting. We prefer to gorge ourselves on the ambrosia that are pierogies until we're sweating mashed potatoes and pork fat. That is gluttony the way God intended it!

Truly the finest film of the 90's and the cinematic voice of a generation.

Maybe in whatever prissy town you live in! In Cleveland we start 'em on King Cobra, and if they're not doing Jagerbombs by the time they start kindergarten, they're outta the family!

We in Cleveland are actually continuing a sacred tradition that began in the Greece of classical antiquity. The Spartans would bathe their newborn children in wine to see if they were strong enough to survive. In Cleveland you got to be tough, and if you can't hold your damn booze as a toddler, you're never going to…

GO BUCKS!