Amen! I tried jogging down the stairs once while drunk, slipped, hit my ass on the corner of a stair, and rolled down the rest of them like a stunt man. What developed in the following days was the most heinous ass bruise you could imagine. At no point did I develop any other bruises or “signs of falling down”. It…

Can we get to the real point of interest: how much pizza did Goodell let everyone eat?

“claimed that Holder merely slipped and fell”

Next question.

Also, while they’re a young team, they’re clearly not in his age range.

The Kings really are fucked, but they’ve been in town for 30 years so at least we know it wasn’t by the mayor.

The Kings are looking to bring in Mike D’Antoni, because seven seconds is the average length of time between coach firings in Sacramento.

By the time I was 29, I was slightly overweight (200 lbs on a 6’1” frame) and had horrible eating and exercise habits. Around then, I started getting really bad stress related headaches and panic attacks. I would feel tightness in the artery in my leg. I finally went to the doctor and my blood pressure was pushing…

THE FOOTBALL PLAYER’S CAN NOW GO BACK TO DOING THEY’RE JOB WHICH ISN”T A JOB BECAUSE THEIR STUDENT’S FIRST BUT THEY GET PAYED WITH A SCHOLARSHIP, IF THEY DON’T LIKE IT THEY SHOULDN”T OF TAKEN THE JOB WAIT NOT JOB, THEIR EASILY REPLACED BUT IM UPSET AT THE IDEA OF LOSING THEM FOR SOME RASON.

Clearly you’re not used to coming here on weekends. It’s like reddit closes up shop for two days a week and they all end up here.

But I thought these kids were naive and stupid and couldn’t change anything. YOU LIED TO ME, COMMENTS SECTION.

You’d expect a Wolfe would know better than to try to let things blow over.

Great. Now we have to watch Missouri football again.

“He was mostly invisible on the night.”

Goodell immediately opens an investigation into the Eagles' players for violating the competitive spirit of the game, then tacks on a random fine on Kelce for saying something specific in a way that could possibly be connected to another player.

Smart strategy, and of course the Eagles won. That asshole only beats women.

Everything is bigger in Texas. Things like the amount of completely disgusting bullshit you’ll let someone get away with if they’re good at football. Because Texas.

You know you fucked up when Philadelphia has the moral high ground

I am waiting for some Death Penalty level violations to be found in the Baylor system. They became so good, so fast. Like, CJK2H crazy shit.

The part when he’s hiding under the stairwell and Vader threatens to turn Leia (the music swells, Luke screams NO, and proceeds to pummel the shit out of him)....MOTHERFUCKING CHILLS!