@Annabellie: Yeah, but whose house would you sleep in?

I don't necessarily compare myself (physically, sexually) to celebrities, but rather I compare myself to people I personally know, which can be just as bad.

@PrettyPrettyPrincess: Hugging, er, dancing isn't a crime!

@neurotickitten: Oh man, that's like total furniture porn for me.

Y'know what we need more of? Canopy beds. Those things are the shit, if mostly because I like sleeping in things that resemble personal forts.

Last semester I had a professor whose last name is Woodcox. That never failed to make me chuckle.

Damn. She looks like a red-headed Dita Von Teese.

Yeah, I'm sure this will go over well in university residence halls and whatnot.

@saintbernadette: Word. There's a lot of general mental instability within my family, and I don't know if I get so anxious and worked up about things because I have a legitimate form of anxiety or because my mother is always so anxious and worried.

@MidnightBikeRide: I remember that story! And I thought it was so laughably bizarre that that picture was my Facebook profile picture for like a week.

All of this was okay until I saw the monkey dressed like a stylish small child.

"... fertilizing an egg with material from another egg, which is technically possible."

Yeah, but where the hell is my Becktionary?

@Ailanthus-altissima: Oh god, I'm guilty of 3 of those 5 things, and I might be even more hipster because the last ironic piece of clothing I acquired came from a freecycle box. Please don't judge!

I say fancy tacos - that ain't no Taco Bell bag. She had a late night last night.

Also, one of my good friends has naturally platinum blonde hair. She's told me that all her life people have been asking if a. she dyes it and b. they can touch it. A few weeks ago I was really drunk and asked if I could touch her head. I felt kind of guilty, but on the other hand, I have a tendency to touch people's…

I've always identified as a strawberry blonde, although in certain lights it looks like a pale shade of red. It's really pretty, at any rate, and people — always individuals much older than me for some reason — have been telling me so for years.

@Annabellie: The merging has begun.

@hortense: Don't even get me started. A major GLBT magazine-Out, maybe?-put Katy Perry on the cover for a story on new gay icons heroes, and I just about threw up.

This only reinforces my desire to own a duck someday.