Jesus Christ, that outtake video.  I am literally crying here, and hoping no one steps into my office for the next minute until I can get composed.

We’re so dead.

Learn to drop a bunt down the third base line, and quit whining.

So, as an experienced parent, what are the best children’s’ activities to re-live as an adult, that take you right back to being a kid again?

Well written.
TLDR: Trump is a poor person’s idea of what a rich person is, dumb person’s idea of what smart person is, a weak person’s idea of what strong person is.

In an industry full of awful sociopaths, Brian Kelly really is one of the worst. Can’t wait to watch him rage impotently as Alabama goes up by 35 in the CFP semifinal.

What do you get when your roster depletes?

“It’s less about impressing women than it is ensuring that they are not profoundly horrified by you.”

I use my side burner on my grill all the time. Primarily, I use it to make bacon (at least once a week). The temperature control is way better than on my stove top, plus the bacon grease just splatters on my grill or the patio instead of my stove.

And lose their voting rights. 

I would add in that you could go a lot further:

For yearbook comments, sure. I think it's the sexual assault thing that has people hung up. Weird how there are certain things that no matter how long ago they happened prevent you from achieving one of the highest, and only lifelong, positions this country has to offer.

IIRC, it was more like, “ate the innards of an old lady and wore her dead, hollowed out body like a person-suit.”

True story - what’s even sadder for that beer vendor is that his job doesn’t even provide enough to allow him to go back to his home in Kansas to visit his father. His dad had to use some of his retirement savings to travel to Landover just to be able to see his boy.

Donald Trump Jr looks like the villain in a movie where the hero is a Golden Retriever 

Thankfully, no one gives a fuck what you think. 

There’s never anything convenient about deciding that you’re going to go through the public ridicule, doubt, and disdain that comes with reporting sexual assault.

Why are you okay with all of Trump’s lies, both as a candidate and as president?

It’s true, Albert, you really are the price of shot.

Fuck you for making my cold heart feel something.