And lose their voting rights. 

I would add in that you could go a lot further:

For yearbook comments, sure. I think it's the sexual assault thing that has people hung up. Weird how there are certain things that no matter how long ago they happened prevent you from achieving one of the highest, and only lifelong, positions this country has to offer.

True story - what’s even sadder for that beer vendor is that his job doesn’t even provide enough to allow him to go back to his home in Kansas to visit his father. His dad had to use some of his retirement savings to travel to Landover just to be able to see his boy.

It’s true, Albert, you really are the price of shot.

Fuck you for making my cold heart feel something.

Baltimore: Donnie.

And your stance is particularly wide.

Also, you never get laid meeting someone at an airport bar.  Unless you’re Larry Craig.

You can always tell the people who picked up their Looney Tunes fandom from boardwalk t-shirts circa 1995.

OK, but we still all agree, fuck Zack Hample, right?

Drove to visit my sister in Chicago area from the NYC area one President’s Day Weekend. It was spur of the moment for her kid’s birthday and with the 5 in my family, it was cost prohibitive to fly. We stopped with family in MI on the way out, so it wasn’t as bad of a journey.

I forgot all about Ratchet — RATCHET, the doctor — going all Chow Yun-Fat with a pair of laser pistols. Works about as well as you’d expect that to work IRL, but he tries.

What is that spaceship made of that he can just fire into the floor like that!?!

Ugh, this article for starters?

I thought I’d add a new take on a fan favorite.

Sometimes you’ve gotta burn your ships. It’s just the way it goes.

I miss kickball

See, I needed a new heel for my shoe. Which meant I had to take the ferry to Shelbyville. Now in those days the ferry cost a nickel and nickels had pictures of bees on them. Give me five bees for a quarter you’d say.

Emmitt Smith: So that’s why they call it an “oldbitchuary.”