There’s never a goddamn bathtub around when you need it the most.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars episodes “Overlords”, “Altar of Mortis”, & “Ghosts of Mortis”.

Despite this being 2017, it took me a minute to realize you meant the Secret Service and weren’t referring to the Nazi military group.

Like you said, you’re not American.

Hello. I’m not American. Can someone tell me why America thought it was a good idea to make a functionally illiterate man with severe personality disorders the President of the United States of America?

One time, I forgot about a presentation I had in fourth grade. I didn’t research or read anything. Totally forgot about it for weeks. I did my best to wing it, but I only fooled the other idiot kids in the room, not my teacher. Every time Trump speaks, I hear that presentation.

Well, his kids run the businesses, Bannon runs him and the country, leaving the orange shit-gibbon to stare at the glowy box and bitch about it on Twitter.

LOL I had the same reaction early on, it took me a while to realize he’s actually a very natural actor. I have a really hard time taking hot guys seriously, and its always a surprise to me when they turn out to have talent.

Unequivocally.

As a person who has attended golf tournaments, I can unequivocally state that there are no good people who attend golf tournaments.

All throughout the first season, I thought that Amos had been totally miscast. With the first two episodes this season, Wes Chatham has gone a long way towards making me rethink my opinion. He was really good last night.

ikr

Quimby: Also it has been brought to my attention that a number of you are stroking guns...

Can you imagine the uproar if white people were enslaved for hundreds of years, and after having been freed were still denied basic rights for another century, and then were denied the tools that would allow them to better their overall circumstance like decent education and access to housing and banking, and then…

I think he likes to talk tough to compensate for the fact he’s terrified of stairs.

Big if true

CONSPIRACY THEORY:

So true

okay, now we NEED Rosie to play Bannon...

So..... SNL is going to have all the Trump people played by someone of the opposite sex now, right? I’d pay to see Leslie Jones as Ben Carson. Or Aidy Bryant as Steve Bannon.