This was great. You know why? Because, for all of 2 minutes, I wasn’t thinking about the next four years.

Regardless, Trump supporters will be happy their guy secured their freedom to continue making uninformed decisions.

I saw that and my first thought was that no, it isn’t at all like that. It’s more like having a dietician advise that you eat at Burger King. (without having to disclose the fact that he owns a bunch of Burger Kings.)

FUCK THOSE BABIES THE BATHWATER WAS DISGUSTING!

This is so dangerous. Once someone from the administration says something, it becomes fact to a certain group of people. It doesn’t matter if they make an attempt to retract it (p.s. despite some articles I’ve been reading, I don’t see the above as a retraction, it’s almost more of a doubling down.)

#neverforget

Its black history month so let me take this opportunity to talk about me and how unfair the press is and let me name check a few token well-known black folks, inner cities and scene.

This was always OBL’s stated intentions. He was never going to win a physical war. He didn’t have the armament or the people. He knew that. So he set out to completely disrupt our way of life and have us make choices based on fear rather than intelligence.

Never let terrorists change who you are.

What do you mean? Cockfighting is as old as time.

“I’m going to have to fight a chicken right now with my dick hanging out in the Caribbean”

I think that Democrats have calculated that allowing Trump to appoint incapable stooges to these cabinet posts will improve Democrats chances at winning offices in 2018 and 2020. Basically, it’s the Republican playbook of 2009, just instead of having to obstruct the Republicans to make the public blame them for…

The Democrats have no one to blame but themselves for losing the labor unions.

Look, asshole, I told you before we went to the party I was going to get shitfaced drunk, make a pass at the hostess in front of her husband, corner one of the black people so I could tell that killer Freddie Gray joke, drop a c-bomb on the first woman to reject my sloppy, hands advances (also the hostess - two birds…

True story. I once dumped a girl because her favorite cracker was a Triscuit. I couldn’t look her in the eye after learning this. Well that and she fucked my roommate. I still get bitter and angry about it all these years later. Triscuits? How could she have been such a bad person?

First they came for the Eggos, and I cried not, “Leggo!”