To pen an authentic and intellectual cinema review – the kind worthy of publication in America’s snootiest airport magazine – one must remember to include countless, such as it were, asides and clauses, seemingly without a purpose other than rendering one’s prose an inarticulate gruel of half thoughts, all while…

Energy = Oil!

I’m a simple guy, I don’t ask for much. I tend to vote for people who can string at least 3 coherent sentences together in a row. I’m going to miss this man a lot.

I guess Trump must be starting his interviews for the new head of FEMA.

Kanye West doesn’t care about black people

You’re just realizing this now? Most of my friends died in a fireball nearly 65 million years ago. Those that survived turned from terrible awe inspiring beasts as big as buildings into robins and sparrows. There clearly is no god.

When I was a younger man, I lived in Charlotte. On occasion I’d do as some 23 year olds do and go to a gentleman’s club. One particular establishment was called the Diamond Club. On the evening in question, my friends and I were enjoying our time there and lo and behold, we find out from the dancers that Jon Bon…

I was alone in an elevator with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and she farted. I was going to ignore it like a gentleman when she said “woah did somebody step on a duck.” We both laughed and she turned to me and said “no one will ever believe you if you tell this again.” She is one wise lady.

My wife and I were in VA Beach for a wedding. At the time she was 7 mos preggo. There was a golf tournament in town and some of the tour people were staying at our hotel. Long story short; We were entering the hotel and Earl Woods was in front of us. He let the heavy door slam in my wife’s face. He knew she was…

I really hope the Mets don’t waste a camp invite on someone who has proven he can’t play baseball at the Major League level. I get that he’s a really nice guy and used to be a famous star, but this whole David Wright spectacle needs to come to an end.

It’s the “I Got Mine” school of politics. Unless there someone in her family struggling with it, she gives no fucks. It’s like a politician being against abortion or gay rights until someone in their family needs one or is one.

“International Federation of Bodybuilding president Rafael Santonja”

It’s clear that mr. Khan’s suggestion didn’t work and Donny boy has never even come close to reading the Constitution. Someone should tweet it out to him slowly and gently because Twitter seems to match his attention span.

Has any coach taken one undefeated season followed by absolute ass kicking in a Natty and carried 20 losses over the next 4 years and kept his job like Kelly has?

Karjakin is also a great way to kill time in traffic.

Oh so Jordan is running for President in 8 years now that Obama roasted him?