Behold hand-crafted teacups, and copper mugs filled with hot mulled wine,

They will sail into the West, they’re saga in this Age of the Earth having been fulfilled.

Truman “Fat Man and Little Boy” Bar Cart Deluxe Edition

When Arsenal win tomorrow and Bayern destory Zagreb, if you would kindly not refer to yourself as an Arsenal fan again after this, it would be greatly appreciated

I was once asked what my hobbies were and my first instinct was to say, “drinking.” I don’t drink all the time but it’s something I love to do. Am I wrong for not being honest in fear of sounding lame? fml

I live alone so prime rib for one person is a bit of a stretch.
I live in Chicago and don’t have a car.
Kinda narrows down my choices now doesn’t it?

The NBA operates on a certain assumption of good faith

Let it be Ms. Marvel, Kamala Khan!

I always eat a cheeseburger on Tet because fuck Norway.

Wonder Woman Eiffel Tower set to Tom Waits’ “Chocolate Jesus”?

“Woof, woof, woof.”

I probably had the cutest girlfriend in all of sixth grade.

Hey everyone is distracted by yet another mass shooting, let’s defund PP!

I didn’t gasp but I did involuntary choke-laugh.

but maybe then they can go live in a nice retirement home together

I disagree with Senator Graham on pretty much all the issues, but out of all the people running for the Republican nomination, he’s always struck me as the most competent, serious, and reasonable candidate (arguably because he’s never been in any of the main-stage debates). Which says a lot about the rest of them.

What about the Alamo? Oh wait, you guys curb stomped us on that one. Carry on.

guys i real life gasped when he tripped

You should go on and read some more statistics then.

Protip: Russia and China don’t have 5th gen fighters.