Seriously. Ohioans can't maintain lawns for shit.
/thass raycesssss

You know, this article actually helped me out a lot in terms of putting this in the proper perspective. I guess when you contrast this "scandal" to what actual scandalous behavior would have been, I guess the Cowboys' football program is actually in an OK State.

I went to Alabama and was having sex with my distant cousin for three months before we realized it when we both got invited to the same family reunion. We kept boning till she moved far away. Roll Tide.

You know my cousin? Yeah, go ahead I guess.

Bro, a cart and 9 holes for $9.11, JIHAD TO HAVE BEEN THERE!

Me and my buddy got dueling hand jobs from a Cleveland hooker for $9.11 for the 10 year anniversary.

Alternate headline:

Title suggestion:

Don't blame soccer just because you missed the day in school where they taught punctuation.

Wallace was overheard yelling at Ireland, "WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT MY FREEDOM?!"

Classless of course, and unfortunately not a surprise either. Agbonlahor is one of the Premier League's most well-known Villans.

Archangel Michael: I see, like when you had that man killed to test Ray Lewis?

I'll help you out.

Thanks Tim! I am so adding "alleged adult" to my resume. Please expect my revised cocktail napkin in the mail.

Q: What's black and white and read all over?

Megatron in the box for corner kicks would be unfair and fucking think, Lebron has masted the art of flopping, him paired with Landon to convert PKs would be flat out unstoppable.

Because he coaches the Redskins.

I look forward to Chase Utley's response to this one.

An Arnold Palmer is not iced tea. An Arnold Palmer is a combination of iced tea and lemonade. Putting the Arnold Palmer on a ranked list of iced teas would be like putting chocolate cake on a ranked list of egg preparations.