One day I was at my cousins’ place and we inexplicably decided to smash all of the windows in their garage. Would you believe it, we got in trouble.

James Franco’s 4th brother there looks like he is about to be touched inappropriately by an old homeless Russian man.

The worst thing ever are the grizzled tour vets who never shut up about how great ‘95-’98 were, complain about how the band totally sucks now... but they still go to every show.

Yes it’s so infuriating that ball-kicking is considered OFF LIMITS. If men don’t want to be kicked in the balls, maybe they should stop ASKING FOR IT by doing fucked-up shit that makes you have to kick them in the balls!

looked a little more Blues Brothers than Jason Bourne

The video would be much better if it was accompanied by “Yakety Sax”

She actually wasn’t trying to be funny. That is the world she lives in.

Hollywood is especially tough on our Asian American actors and actresses. It’s really unfair.

God this made me laugh my ass off.

I’m excited to understand that entire sentence.

I’ve met and interacted with a lot of celebrities, but this is about my son.

They should probably vet him before he visits. Then put him through some advanced interrogation, just to determine what his intentions are. Then if necessary, place him in some sort of camp until they determine what to do with people of his kind.

No clue. Literally no one other than the Oval Office interior decorator knows.

To quote the great John Oliver, congratulations on your white penis!

“International Federation of Bodybuilding president Rafael Santonja”

I’d be too confused as to how you can hang pictures on a rounded wall to maintain an erection.

I think you can find more info by googling ‘Trump NAMBLA’

During training, McDonalds provides information to employees on how to apply for social safety nets like SNAP and discounted utilities.

Let it be known I do not give a single fuck about boners.

Brb, gonna go buy my 4 year old goddaughter a “girls rule, boys drool” t-shirt for her birthday, can’t start too early on implementing the male castration agenda. Cheer up guys, we’re only 160 years away from getting equal pay, perfecting asexual reproduction, and throwing all men into space.