Is there really not a single one of him motivating Shinji Ikari? Someone get on that!

“we’re trying to have a goddam society here” — I love this so much.

Forget the ridiculous third reason for a moment. Why do there seem to be so many otherwise intelligent people who don’t seem to understand that the vast majority of the time it’s not appropriate to act on your sexual impulses? Literally everyday of the week I work with and walk by women that I am attracted to,…

This sounded cool until I remember I have cats. Oh god, do I have cats @_@

Welcome to Kinja, Mr. Blatter.

Since all the dinosaurs are female and they talk to one another, presumably about anything other than men, would that mean that Jurassic Park has the highest score on the Bedchel Test?

Lorem Ipsum: The Game

John Oliver is a man of his word, though.

A: Don’t like his dialogue?
B: No, they don’t like his dialogue.
A: Why not?
B: Why not what?
A: Why don’t they like his dialogue?
B: They think it’s too chopped up.
A: Too chopped up?
B: And too repetitive.
A: Too repetitive? Really?
B: Yeah. He says he’s basing it on Mamet-
A: Mamet?
B: Mamet.
A: Who’s Mamet?
B: He’s a writer.
A:…

That’s a great photo. Though if you start at the feet, you get altitude sickness just past the knees.

So what you’re saying is... He made a deal...

I would like to send an order of the crap dip to the table over there. The one with the lady that’s allergic to crunchy and the man that doesn’t know what scrambled eggs are.

The Boof Fallowing, brother of the Doof Warrior.

Nope. Best practices for suicide reporting recommend not using “committed,” which sounds like a crime or, to religious communities, like a sin, and “kill yourself” is just insensitive, crude, and poorly phrased. “Died by suicide” is the phrasing recommended by mental health professionals and the American Foundation…

Nah. That title was won months ago by the 2015 Phillies.

oh shit just reading it made the small of my stomach churn with some kind of creepy awkwardness. just eeeeeek 0.o

lol yeah like “emma could totally be half-asian”

The story about the cancer-free anniversary “date” is one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever read. That’s some Ralph Wiggum/Lisa Simpson shit right there.