My empty pocket is killing me
I must confess, I still believe
When it’s not you, Qatar wins
Give me a hundred grand
Bribe me baby one more time

This looks like something from St. Louis

Feels like America just won the World Cup.

Basically spot on except that it happened at 2 PM.

Not even a little bit. But the pasta wasn’t looking all that great to begin with, so the pizza we ordered really was the best possible outcome.

“At those prices, you won’t feel like you’re getting screwed.”

There’s a three-word phrase that rhymes with Pilitary-Thindustrial Fomplex (only trying to be half snarky).

Not so lucky, actually, didn't you hear they're past their last fuckable day?

Peyton was sandwiched between Tina and JLD. That lucky fuck.

McNally and Jastremski are the two minor characters in a Shakespeare play. Judging from their very entertaining texts, they’re the clowns that provide comic relief. They are almost too perfect in the roles they play.

I guard against this by never ordering the Gratuity off the menu.

Mouton also tells a similar story of when he sacked Tom Brady, and Brady told him he would, “Knock the wind out of him.”

I’m more disturbed by the fact that, in the two other commercials they have on YouTube, he has a kid. I’m only left with the conclusion that the Hamburglar has had sex. And now, I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like I was told to not think about pink elephants, except with a naked man climaxing by yelling “ROBBLE!”

Normally I would have agreed but after the very touching last episode for Futurama, I honestly want them to leave it be. Die a hero before it becomes the villain.

You’ve clearly never worked at a Barnes & Noble.

more like roger badell.

“How dare you mock the guy for not knowing what the beach is? Some people make it to age 50 without visiting the beach and somehow completely missing the ever-present representations of beaches in popular culture. Besides, many people suffer from Glorpman’s Syndrome, which is an inability to understand the…

I hate to be that guy, but I don’t believe for a second that you hate being that guy.

I will care about this story when it’s revealed that Tom secretly switched the balls out for those Nerf vortex footballs that John Elway used to chuck at kids in the 90’s