All these entries just say one thing to me:

Hey, muppet-bukkake doesn't get nearly enough love.

The stealing cash part made me lose it. I love that extra bit of spite you had to throw in.

A deaf girl in Korea. She was hot and cute, and thanks to most Korean men ignoring handicap women, she was more than happy to have a white guy hit on her. I didn't know any sign language at all, barely knew any Korean, but somehow we communicated to each other that we wanted to fuck. One little detail that I didn't…

One of my Aztec buddies. He was a pretty good friend and I didn't have any problems with him at first, and I felt bad for him because he had a weird spooky girlfriend. So when he came on to me, we fooled around once, which was pretty good, and he didn't have a problem doing it with another guy. Afterwards... he said…

I have so many.

Dated and took the virginity of a preachy-vegan, white, Appalachian musical prodigy (bonafide, could play a jillion instruments and had perfect pitch) who poured his talents into a socially tone-deaf rap "career" in Southeast Ohio. My roommates hated him because he refused to wear deodorant for fear it would give him…

That chick in college (Bard - Yeah, it gets worse) who, when I came back for seconds the next day, stiff-armed me, saying, "I don't sleep with men any more, Mark." Instructions say, sex partners who've made an embarrassment out of you, right? Just checking...

I lost my virginity at the ripe age of 26 to a BMX rider. The sex was outstandingly amazing. Every time. And he loved giving oral sex. However, he was a walking mountain of red flags: 26 years old and divorced with two kids and one on the way. No job, no phone (I had to text his BMX friends to hook up), and no car. So…

The scene: a frat house in LA. The boy: a shirtless bringer of 151 to the punch bowl (he was wearing shoes, so 1 point for me). Me: drunk off my ass without a care in the world with a boyfriend comfortably hundreds of miles away (-3 points for me).

For maybe a year and a half we kept up our NSA funsexytimes. Eventually we had a "no talking" rule, which was definitely for the best. I instated it after he told me all about how this stripper at the club was so into him. "Dude, she has to act like that. To get your money." "No, no, she was really cool and we had…

So this is only gonna make sense to a small portion of people but...

Dated a somewhat pretty idiot. Mostly somewhat on the pretty, so pretty much an idiot. Some other stuff I didn't like about him inability to tell a story, he'd stretch out something that needed 5 minutes of my time into a half hour. He didn't know how to masturbate. He would lay on his stomach, full clothed and rub…

Back in my 20's, I attended an Al-anon meeting at the suggestion of one of my co-workers who knew my family history.

It's not peenvee, but I totally gave a guy a blowjob after knowing better. At the bar, we were touching each other's hands. I remarked how soft they were. He leaned in close and said, "You know how I do it?" I asked how. He told me it was because he masturbated a lot. And splooged into his hands. His splooge was his…

I met this guy online when I was 17 and he was 22- I had lied about my age. He was a musician with a semi-famous musician dad (toured with many 70's/80's rockers). I'm pretty sure he had never had a real job outside of "gigs", nor had he gone to college and barely finished high school. Living off famous dad money. I…

I'm pretty sure I'm the most embarrassing for a couple people. For that I am sorry.

Thinking now of all the stupid things i did just to get laid....Like jumping from the second floor of my GF house after hed dad came at me with a knife for finding me in the bedroom of his special snowflake...makes me believe teen and early-adulthood men are beyond brainless.

Had a failed threesome the other day with a "model". My friend couldn't get hard so it was just me and her. It was like having sex with a badly tattooed sack of potatoes

Couple of people who I was romantically-ish interested in, or rebounding with, but only had sex with once. But this must take the cake: I didn't actually have sex with this guy, just got down to my underwear. He didn't want to have sex, but he still had to get his rocks off because otherwise it would be "incredibly…