It's not really pampering if you need to rest because you lost a pint of blood.

Absolutely! Having just come back from 2 weeks off I can't agree more. Yesterday I had to show my wife how to give the little poop machine a bath and how the stroller works because we've had to split the duties while she recovered from the birth.

It's not a vacation unless you "go out for a pack of cigarettes" and never come back.

Oh honey, it's okay. I'm sure you'll meet a girl someday, just keep trying.

YES THIS YES.

Apparently this is the universal hospital baby hat. I have three all of a sudden.

Go move to North Korea if you want to complain about a dictatorship, or learn what words mean and use them appropriately.

Hey! I'm half-yuppie scum myself on my father's side and I do know a couple people who resist vaccines. These people love their kids they just buy into the granola anti-establishment bullshit too much, and assume that if established western medicine tells you something you should be suspicious of it. Established…

Yet none of these outbreaks were so very common until the Anti-vaxers stuck their collective head's up their asses.

If Scotch can make it past the 18 year old sugar-drink voters and beat Long Island Ice Tea it has a good shot at taking on Vodka. Only people who don't care drink Vodka, now if you put redbull in there it would sweep.

Shockingly Pedestrian. My wife and I locked eyes across a crowded dance floor. It was midnight and our respective office Christmas parties had both led us her. She noticed me first. I was dancing with co-workers and made eye contact with this CUTE red-head in a green shoulderless dress. I looked away, then looked back…

BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI - could someone tell me what this article is about all I read was was "Hillary Cli" - BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI BENGHAZI!!!!!!!ONE

The only Nit I want to pick with this article is as follows:

Jorah is also kind of a dumbass when it comes to relationships. Remember his first wife was a golddigger who didn't really love him and so he turned to slaving to sustain her lavish lifestyle. Then... did she leave him or die? I forgot.

I burn my underwear, pants and seat cushion every time I fart. It's the only way to be truly sanitary.

Proctor & Gamble and Kleenex etc. have done a great job creating this germaphobe culture. It's just a little snot and it CAME OUT OF YOUR FACE it's not the ebola virus. Everyone assumes that because something is disposable and came out of a sealed box it's automatically cleaner than some cloth that you washed…

My favorite is "That Being Said.."

The equality of shallowness is a wonderful development for both genders. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go do 1,000 stomach crunches.

The most naive facet of this little plot is how these choads think they can create a whole new movement from behind their computer monitors, with like, tumblers and stuff.

Interesting, the climate is passively keeping more CO2 out of the atmosphere by making it impossible to fly airplanes.