"Hey, Eli, here's a record that won't get overturned!"

"Wait, there are passes where you DON'T throw the ball backwards?"
- Matt Flynn

"Time to give this man his bust."
-every blackjack dealer I've sat across.

it's 'so'..as in 'so, you're gay? get the fuck out of our country'

- Once again, white man website Deadspin has angered the spirits.

Luckily for Kendrick, his employers don't understand the concept of amnesty, either.

My Top 3 Favorite Unwritten Rules of Basketball in Descending Order:

Why the fuck didn't you let Ken Tremendous tackle this in a step-by-step FJM -style takedown? And don't give me some lame-ass excuse like "He was busy" or "The holidays" or "He already wrote a Jack Morris piece for us" or "Fremulon conference call" or "pooping disaster" or "food metaphor shortage."

I think Brian Davies misspelled "taint".

I'm not a coach, but it seems pretty stupid to put your offensive strategy right on your jersey.

Jimmy John's Founder: Dude, Brock, I have to ask. What's with the pants?

This was probably the best game I've seen on League Pass all year. My favorite play of the game was either when Kyrie Irving Network Connection Errored, or maybe when Damian Lillard also Network Connection Errored.

I'm way too drunk to understand this article.