I met a guy once, a singer in an indie band (yes), who claimed to have eaten a ghost pepper like it was nothing. This greatly upset a friend of mine, who thereafter referred to him as the "pepper liar." Anyway, I just thought you all should know that. Cool.

Albert, I like your posts in general, so this is absolutely not meant as a back-handed compliment — your tip about wearing gloves, based on my own personal experiences cutting up jalapenos (and they aren't even that hot), is the best tip you've given yet.

You're fucking insane.

Though I will heartily agree that guac is, bar none, the best dip, I honestly don't think it's the best for watching ALL THE SPORTS. Yes, it's versatile, but if you are planning on having a bunch of friends over on Sunday to watch all the football games— from the early to the late slate, that shit is going to brown.

Jeffrey Loria Is Running The Marlins Into The Ground

Jeffrey Loria is the man who personally trains all Time Warner Cable customer services representatives.

So I put my hands up, I’m bitchin’ bout calls,

No plain old club soda on the list? Are you not a man? A man who drinks booze and likes to cut that booze with club soda? A man who issues listicles for the purpose of soliciting whiny questions? Do you not solicit these questions just to beat up on their whiny authors for comedic effect?

This was fantastic; +1 extra epidermal layer. That Mr. A sounds like a real drag.

Right idea, wrong bacteria. You're looking for the new drug-resistant strains of gonorrhea that have started showing up.

Sure, we laugh, but Ms. Piggy got the car, the house, and the royalties for "Bein' Green." I wouldn't find comfort in the bottom of a spoon, but it ain't my place to judge. No sir.

Have we confirmed that this isn't just a very tiny man?

"Hello my baby, Hello my darling, hello my ragtime dolllllllllll............."

Within the next 3 years there will be 20 middle schools named after this frog.

France's space exploration program is a work in progress

Schiano denied vote-rigging yesterday, saying, "it's 100 percent false. If there was such a thing as a 102 percent, this would be it.’’