probably in the same location as the second u in nuclear.

I TOO AM A LOVER OF CANTALOUPE, and all melons, really. fuck yeah, chewable sweetened water!

oh oh, i forgot! i was once boinking my boyfriend in college, doing it doggy style, when something went terribly awry. i had just adopted a kitten who looooved attacking moving objects, as all kitties do. well, his thrusts naturally made his balls swing...and you can guess what happened next. poor fella had to apply…

i don't know if this counts because i was about 11 at the time (though certainly old enough to know better), but I was chewing on a plastic test tube (as one does) and it broke in my mouth. i got a small cut on my tongue, no big whoop. i then used a shard of broken tube to scratch an itch on my palm and split my hand…

I'm not going to read anyone else's story until I get mine out, cuz chances are there will be some pretty damn amazing ones out there, and I'll lose the beans to write my story, and I really wanna contribute to one of these!

Why on earth would you work at a daycare center if you dislike children? This is a nonsense argument. I don't want children, and I'm very awkward around them. If I for some reason took a childcare position (and why that would happen, I have no idea), I would still think of the children as, I don't know, human? And as…

For anyone interested, here is the ad I saw.

I can't hate Neal McDonough! I never can, especially because of Band of Brothers, but he's the guy who's in everything who never catches a break. Obviously he needed money. I'm sure he showered a long time after the commercial wrapped.

They are known as "angelenos." You're so very welcome!

I have totally jumped on the Dollar Shave club Bandwagon, and you know why I did it? Because I saw an ad that said, more or less "you don't need pink razors." The fact that they were like, these are dudes razors but guess what, they work for you too made me sign up that second. And so freaking cheap! I just got them…

Some of your list is maybe okay. The true list goes like this:

YES! Thank you! I actually enjoyed this movie, and while I totally understand the criticisms that are numerated here, I thought they did a decent job. I wished Maleficent could have been a little more, I don't know, cranky? Because of her name and all, something that made the title make sense, but I did enjoy it for…

Technically, bruschetta, the real Italian shit, is just the bread grilled, rubbed with garlic, and topped with olive oil. Americans and English folk think bruschetta means the tomato bits, but bruschetta is just the delivery service; you can have lots of different toppings (tapenade, artichokes, cheese, meat) and it's…

I had a boyfriend tell me, no joke, "girls who don't go to bars don't get raped." Uhm, fuck you into a cold hard death. Yes they do, and girls who go to bars shouldn't get raped either, and that's the shittiest thing I've ever heard.

I wish my dad was more like that. I was assaulted when I was 15, by my 20 year old boyfriend (who my parents knew about and never attempted to stop me from dating, hello stat rape even if the assault hadn't happened!), and when I finally told him when I turned 18 he was intensely uncomfortable, and I could tell he…

Another strange thing people do I've personally noticed is that women will talk other women out of getting plastic surgery even as they announce their desire for a different kind of cosmetic procedure. I once mentioned to my sister's bridesmaids that I wanted a nose job—I've broken my nose three times, and while it…

Just because you got snarky, *elude.

Thank you endlessly for this dish idea for my upcoming birthday party! My grandfather worked at Hormel his whole life, and while my dad cannot stomach the pressed tinned meat, I've developed quite the taste for it thanks to visits to Hawaii and the ubiquitous saran-wrapped bricks of spam musubi. drool. Spam mac and…

The treat tastes a little bitter and fishy, however the chocolate makes up a majority of the flavor.

When we live in a world where most humans, not just the uber rich (though they're obviously the most visible examples), fail to display the most basic level of rudimentary self-awareness, it's applause worthy. Period.