Sex is one thing. Abortion is another.

Nah, they’d shrug the whole thing off with their belief in repentance and redemption that they only discover when one of their celebrities is in trouble.

Nxivm moonlights as an antihistamine.

“I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.”
- Creed Bratton
- Michael Scott

Alright Mr. Plinkettet, we know it’s you!

Oh, look! It’s a clip from Disney’s The Evil Dead!

Okay, but can we discuss how her ponytail is a butt plug?

They’re actually looking through his crotch, at his wallet in his back pocket. Like Superman, except hoes. I believe the prophet Soulja Boy wrote of this 

M R Not Ducks.

How is it a flop? Let me repeat: In it’s 3rd model year, the totally new 6th Gen Camaro is down 6 THOUSAND UNITS to the Challenger. It’s behind the Mustang 8,000 units.

The front looks bloody awful, nothing else is needed to be said.

This is all I see.

It’s all I can see when I see them stand next to each other.

Like she’d ever let her kids play some GAY AGENDA sport like soccer

This woman reminds me of an assistant manager at an Arby’s in Little Rock, albeit with none of the charm or hospitality.

Birdshit of a feather:

I hope people get this reference.

Insert generic “net worth” quip here...

Or, and I know I’m being crazy here, you can stop giving a fuck about your apparent height.