Thank God Miles isn't a Sin City fan.

I started lifting weights routinely at sixteen because I knew it would increase my chances of winning football games and getting dates with women. Never did I think to myself, "If I do this, I'm going to get laid" like it was a reward. It was more like, "If I do this, girls might notice me more because they like guys…

I think maybe rape is more common amongst male athletes, because male athletes are often taller and more built than normal men, and these are the type of men whose life experiences are much more conducive to feeling like the world was built for them. Being a large sized man is like a confidence gold mine, and I…

This is like the pot calling the kettle a piece of shit.

She said he agreed to let her leave when she agreed to clean up the broken glass.

... A goalkeeper is considered to be in control of the ball:

Along with the level of professionalism the entire squad and management displayed by giving 100% in this match (when historically other national teams in this situation may not have), the U.S. players also showed pure class last night at the end of the match. Especially Johannsson by not wanting to celebrate after…

THis is easily one of the most epic announcer takedowns of all time.

I do feel bad for Baloy...the best defender by a mile in CONCACAF and arguably one of the top two or three players. The World Cup deserves players like Baloy and vice versa. He was pretty immense last night and not just in defense.

#YoureWelcomeMexico — Valtrex (@valtrex) May 5, 2004

As much as I want Mexico eliminated, it's good to see the US keep fighting to win. They did the same thing last qualifying round. They had already qualified and came from behind to beat Costa Rica which eliminated Costa Rica and booked Honduras to the World Cup.

Mexico is eternally grateful? Wishful thinking Barry. Surely their horrible fans will be back throwing shit at our players and supporters alike the next time we play anywhere near the border, much less at the Azteca. And the players? Nearly as classless as their supporters. They should take pages from the Panamanians…

I'm sorry that I had two glasses of wine at a fundraiser and wrote John Edwards a check for $150.00, which I could not afford at the time.

Ritz crackers with butter are pretty awesome. Just throwing that out there.

I'm sorry she named her girl child Francis.

All those apologies and not a word on the horse murders?! http://gawker.com/5036642/the-ho…

So when women make more than men, there are logical explanations.

It's VERY silly, but all the dogs seem to be well-loved and happy, and that makes me happy, too.

Does anyone else find this slightly depressing?

What? Are you an accountant or an engineer or something? Because I know you're not a creative. And if you are, you're someone too young to actually remember what things were like before computers existed.