Matt Birk says he's going to donate his brain to science and everyone applauds.

That's one huge Johnson.

I hear Drew's never had a bad beat.

Mark Sanchez, probable (poise)

DO invite Rashad McCants to bitterly live-tweet the whole thing.

@Stev D: That's the beauty of this plan! Wait, what? (And yes, I agree the jobs thing is a false carrot, but it certainly will be dangled).

He tried the same thing with Layla. It just doesn't work.

Better save your Google ad pennies for when Conan sues you for using that "if they made it" image of Herm and Sally Strothers.

Vincent Gallo still hasn't weighed in.

I was told this was coming. I knew it would be fantastic. And i'm still in awe.

@Weed Against Speed: +1 single-serving friend.

@ClintonPortishead: I just assumed the presence of an employee who specialized in one-point CFL plays explained a lot of Washington's recent struggles.

Because when I think about the athletic form in all its glory, I think of "athletes" who tone those muscles by driving a car.

Needs more menace.

Turns out samba pants are a real thing. You're off the hook for now, Nash.

Per Duquette's Wiki page: "He had a role in a Western Massachusetts community theatre production of Damn Yankees."

Tony Bernazard thinks he should pitch through it.

One can only assume the lobster has already consumed the head of the frightened child in the background.

It's not even that big of a deal. Something like 8 percent of broadcasters do it.

@Matt Sussman: Caster? I just met "her."