And here I thought Republicans loved guys who mocked veterans and people with disabilities while sporting ridiculous dye jobs and being publicly snubbed by their former romantic partners.

It would be great to see video of the crowd when Kanye comes over the loudspeakers: Confusion. Disgust. Realization who it is. Then awkwardly pretending to like it. Some clapping on 1 and 3.

“I was focused on trying to be number one in my class and being captain of the varsity basketball team, doing service projects and going to church.”

Getting beaten by a rigged game? Fair.
Beating a rigged game? Stop right there, criminal scum!  

It doesn’t take much to trick someone from Arkansas. I used to sell Cheerios there as donut seeds. 

Yeah, I thought stuff like that only happened in soap operas on T.V. or in movies.

I mean, yeah, here’s hoping for the best for both of them, but I’ve always wondered about the sort of person who breaks up with one person to date their sibling.

I dated a young woman at one point who had a very attractive sister. It never crossed my mind to try to cross that line, because I liked my girlfriend (we…

“Say what you will about Hitler, but at least he killed Hitler.”

“...in the double-shooting sleeve, late-stage Melo getup”

“recalibrated rankings are in no way a form of retribution or in response to Brannon’s address.”

“There will be no funeral, no repast, everyone get the hell out of my church” MY. CHURCH. This strike anyone else as hugely fucked up? 

Everybody is too good for fart jokes. You just need to believe in yourself.

Is... is this an actual call for help? Like a real medical emergency?

McLevy was really trying to toot his own horn.

Holy christ, just when I thought my erection couldn’t get any bigger...

Honestly, this might be the first time one of these “celebs: they’re just like us!” stories has actually worked on me. I’m an Amy Adams fan now! And even less of a fan of McLevy than ever for trying to put on airs and pretend he’s too good for fart jokes.

Here’s the thing everyone always overlooks when they start worrying about “false accusations.” Yes, false accusations about sexual misconduct happen. They happen at roughly the same rate as false accusations for virtually every other type of crime, i.e. incredibly rarely. Borderline statistically insignificant.

Peeking my head out to say that Title IX placing the responsibility of sexual assault adjudication on colleges does more harm than good.

Remember when Barack was President and we didn’t have to worry about who anyone was fucking and what porn they were watching?

At least Miles is not a clone. Or a Mephisto/loki trick.