Ahhh ‘96, I saw this in the theater as a high school junior, it took me about twenty minutes to get the hang of their accents.

I carry pepper spray that has ink in it that is visible under a UV light for up to 72 hours, even if the person tries to wash the shit off. I also carry this tool that can easily shatter a femur or take out an eye with enough pressure. I haven’t had to use them and hopefully never will, but it’s nice to have a little…

This is beyond horrifying.

I see a lot of dummies posting pics of their debit and credit cards, numbers allllll visible, on social media. Sometimes also social security cards.

Hahaha! I figure any boy over the age of about 3 months knows he has one! I think they discover the penis before they discover their hands, don’t they? (I only have a daughter, and I have walked in on her masturbating several times since she was about 3 ... she didn’t know it was “wrong” to hump the edge of the sofa…

That’s what I thought. Or had the teacher pick up one end of the desk and he the other and carried her out. She wouldn’t have been hurt but the class would have never have let her live it down.

I love his dumb ass yesterday cuz he would be sexily pissed and would make faces like he was dying when he got answers wrong. #hotjeopardyidiot

Meet my research-retiree, Syrio:

Pulling you out of the greys so your comment can get some replies because it’s an interesting point, so please don’t hate me for pointing this out: Deprecating. Depreciating is what cars do when you drive them off the lot.

TBH, I’m much more interested in seeing this movie [after I read the book] now that I know Chiwetel Ejiofor is in it. But I would’ve been just as happy with Tony Leung. Or Daniel Dae Kim. Or Donnie Yen. Which...why the hell wouldn’t you cast one of those dudes?

A lot of people need this course.

So the answer is continuing to let Sea World breed them by artificial means? Just miserable captive whales in perpetuity?

I am... relieved? that about five years ago my feet developed something I can only call “being fucked up” that means I cannot do high-impact exercise without potentially causing days worth of pain.* So it’s all elliptical machines for me and I cannot ever do a marathon. Which, you know, I wasn’t going to do anyone,…

I worked for a family law attorney. I can believe some attorneys making that call without consulting with the client first, although most would not. I also know that people in the middle of a divorce are straight fucked up. She could have said something, and the lawyer took it on himself to make the call, hoping it…

How did you know I want to be Angela Lansbury when I grow up? Thanks Bobby!

I’m still a UD liner junkie (look, change is hard), but I’ve heard good things about the Sephora liners being dupes. However, I am super fucking picky about liner, in the sense that I refuse to buy one of it has a shit ton of glitter particles in it (that is not going in my waterline because I refuse to explain to my…

Yeah. I’m ten years younger than this lady, and the very idea of spending that much time with a 23-yr-old dude [who reads The Secret, ffs) is just uuuuuggggh. And one who writes “anywho” instead of the PROPER, CORRECT “anyhoo”? Helllll no.

Hahaha! Poor Katy. Honestly, though, props to her for not slapping a bitch. I hate being around high/drunk people when I’m not high/drunk. I would have lost all patience with Rayane. Gawd, Rayane. Can you just be cool?