I’m just very very sad for Deadspin. That site introduced me to all of the other Kinja sites, many of which including Jalop also became favorite reads. I hope (in order):

First, I wouldn’t trust the owner of the car at all

“Here’s a hot tip: If you find yourself with the nagging urge to ask “Am I the asshole?” in any given situation, nine times out of 10, you will be correct.”

Dear r/AmITheAsshole,

So, I was recently put in charge of an already successful website by this private equity firm. I covered the site in loud, obnoxious ads, drove readers away and than started firing the people who made the website successful in the first place when they wouldn’t kiss my ass. But, I mean, those…

Arenado! 

Sabathia (the season is still technically going). 

Hey that piece of shit nestled between that pig’s enormous testicles looks just like Jim Spanfeller! Uncanny!

There’s no such thing as a bad dog, just shitty private equity dickbags. 

Can confirm. These certainly appear to be three very good dogs.

Hey, let’s talk about how G/O media are such gutless scum that they took down all of the posts across the kinjaverse about how awful the autoplaying videos are and how to contact the ownership about it.

The film adaptation of Call Me By Your Name is a landmark queer coming-of-age romance

Much like Lauren isn’t saying that the Broncos are trying to kill Joe Flacco, I’m not suggesting that emailing g-omediafeedback@googlegroups.com with complaints about the current media strategy will send it to the chucklefucks responsible for making these decisions.

I realize that Trump is the poster boy for the Dunning Kruger Effect, so yes, he probably did think that he would get a rousing ovation - hell, he probably thought the bullpen was going to call and ask him to come pitchy a couple innings - but is everyone else around him so brainwashed they honestly weren’t expecting…

Counterpoint: Steph and Draymond + D’Angelo just got blown out by a OKC team that isn’t even likely to make the playoffs in the West and is certainly worse than at least five teams in the East. Stop with this bullshit.

[buzzers in]

No, no.  The question was literally The Answer.

The answer was literally The Answer this time. 

Can you guys ask the venture capitalists to make articles take up less space? It’s kind of hard for me to watch both of the “recent videos” that started playing in two separate places when I’ve got four or five lines of text distracting me.

I like to take the dog out to shit in my man clogs.