Variation: God did some bailing out of the humans when humanity was young, but at some point, they need tough love. You get old enough, you have to fend for yourselves, and spoiling you by running to take care of everything isn’t going to help you in the long run.

Deep dish is tourist food.

Women tend to meet and befriend men in other ways other than finding some random dude on the subway/passing on the street. How many of your close personal friends have you met in that fashion?

She wasn’t asking a dude out. She wants to read. Period.

Oh god, yes. Between that amusement park and the motel... brr.

Trust me, long legs and not a size 0/2 isn’t a picnic either.

Vegetarian here, and no I do not eat meat while drunk - but I’ve basically had to give up fries and pizza (barring tiny orders now and then) because holy crap, I can put that stuff away even when not drunk. Pizza is one serving size for me, I do not care how big it is, and I will eat even faster if the pizza is…

Just needs to update his name to “That Ghost That Said Those Things.”

I find that I get worried about “doing it wrong” or making an ugly pattern... I think maybe I need to destress before I can destress. :/

“Natural causes” means it’s your body or an illness causing the death; the type caused by an active intervention of some kind is “unnatural death”, which is homicide, suicide, accidents, that kind of thing. I think “natural causes” gets used so often in the elderly because at that point, few people really care what…

Yeah, they mean not drugs, not murder, not suicide, etc. Old folks usually have some other mechanism involved (heart failure, complications of pneumonia, etc.) but “natural causes” is a convenient catch-all for them.

No, I sympathize. As someone who tries to be a protein-loading, health-conscious vegetarian who doesn’t ask for alterations (other than an occasional “forget the bun”*)... sometimes you’re fucked when it comes to restaurant choices, and sometimes you say stupid shit reflexively as a result. But I refuse to apologize…

My BF had a yellowjacket get inside the rim of his soda without him noticing. He sips, yellowjacket gets taken into his mouth and stings the inside of his lower lip, he spits out yellowjacket and stomps it. It swelled so badly he thought it was going to split his lip, and a combination of ice and antihistamines helped…

Not mine, but someone I know: She was renting an apartment and had a recurring issue in the bathroom with ants coming in now and then. The ceiling over the shower was slowly beginning to sag a bit, so since she was moving out anyway, the landlord decided to deal with the ceiling problem after the move, figuring it was…

Ugh, I know the feeling.

Do! Welcome to Night Vale is really damned awesome.

Thanks for featuring cruelty-free boxes. I subscribed to Petit Vour after reading a few months’ worth of the box recaps and got this when I saw the cute lipstick tube. As I mentioned in another post, I’m using it more like lip balm since the color is too subtle. Even the Petit Vour site doesn’t have that color for…

Agreed, I’ve been treating it more like a lip balm since the color is so faint.

Huge Cosmetics Cop fan here; I love that they reference actual research.

Try running away in those little foam flip-flops!