Well that explains why they sell devices that cost thousands but don't even have a goddamned digital display - gotta be able to fudge those results somehow depending on how well your mark is buying the line of bull.

Ugh, another level of passive-aggressiveness there.

Wow. Well, that's pretty pointless.

"Close enough"? Like my sister-in-law who was super-particular about her gifts but knowingly bought my husband (her brother) the wrong size shoes for Christmas one year, just because she couldn't be bothered to try harder.

What IS that?

For what it's worth, I'm glad you're free of that now.

Why not skip the middle process and just go for the booze?

Why wait? http://xkcd.com/150/

Oh that's easy - because it's the Lord's Day and those heathen waitstaff shouldn't be working on it. Even though they wouldn't be able to be eating in a restaurant if that were so.

I hope that in a fit of pique over supposed mistreatment, she has her will rewritten from whoever it is now to give everything to Dora as a giant "screw you, my colored nurse deserves it more than you" statement and then drops dead right after it's been appropriately notarized and before she can change it back. Drops…

Avoid pears and dried shiitake mushrooms, then. They contain lots of natural formaldehyde.

Sounds like a Chipotle.

Yup. I don't believe in ghosts. I can tell myself the other stories are hallucinations or weird dreams or coincidences or chemical-induced dreams or whatever and go happily through my day. I know humans can be monsters, though.

Yup. "Look At Me" wins. Ugh!

And I'm out.

The last "giving zero fucks" one is fabulous.

I thought it was bad when a colleague's brother was told by his workplace to stay home for 21 days after returning from his trip to Ethiopia and South Africa.

I lived in a two-flat apartment building, with exterior stairwell doors and separate interior doors for each apartment. My downstairs neighbor locked himself out (forgetting his keys in his apartment) but fortunately ran into me on the way out. I asked him if he'd stashed a copy of his apartment key somewhere. He…

The jump may be less jarring in the new series, perhaps, but I assure you that's not the case with the original ones. I'm in favor of it.

I've found that similar thoughts along the lines of "it must not be easy to be the kind of person who blows their top over such an insignificant issue, what kind of life is it to go through such stress" is actually helpful. A little smug, maybe, but hey, if it helps resolve the situation faster without transferring…