It will also work if your name is Dr. West Friendship.

Humblebrag time: I actually am reading Tolstoy.

Okay, this is a different issue, but what the hell is the deal with the hate for e-readers? I prefer my Nook for two reasons: I am moving around a lot because of different jobs and hauling books is a bitch, and I can read with a black background and white lettering. The white-on-black is so much easier on eyes and I…

I get weak in the knees whenever Jolie says, "isopropyl."

I guess it's a lot of 'work', but I never really think of it that way. I like having so many options. For me, there's something empowering about having a fair amount of control over the way I present myself, and of course the thing most people will be looking at the most throughout my day is my face. I like to change…

The situation on Hinge at the moment is SO CHILL that no one even sends messages. A very “I’m open to online dating, but won’t actually contact you” kind of thing. (My fragile ego refuses to believe it’s just me.)

Next Up: How To Spot If Your S/O Has In Fact Changed Her Hair.

That’s inexcusable. How do you get San Francisco and Oklahoma City mixed up?

Mr. Fancy TV-Chef thinks he's all classy now and drinks only GLORYBOY drinks now.

No no no no no no no, R2D2ESQ. This is how you express that you’ll enjoy watching something fantastically and deservedly implode:

Particularly on a question like this, where it’s easy to simply say “Yes, there are several subjects on which I’ve changed my mind after learning more/getting older/circumstances changed, etc.” As stupid as the American public is, they’re not so stupid that they don’t understand that people’s opinions may change over…

I’ve stocked up on popcorn and beverages so I will be fully equipped to watch the show.

Thefuck ?

Chalk one up for Team Flanders

To the guy that correctly diagnosed my anal fissure during an “ask the Deadspin staff” session:

I have. It WASNT GRILLED ENOUGH TO MELT THE EFFING CHEESE!!!

Last Acura MDX. My OCD could never handle the non-symetrical steering wheel buttons.

I assume Ms. Taylor has already revised her form letter for Jahlil Okafor.

That difficulty with had/has explains why Duke gave her a diploma instead of a degree.