Yeah, but you just know he'd ignore the rules to pass Go and collect $200 on the way.

Nice that your first thought on this idea is "but this would impact me slightly". I assume that the respect you show your girlfriend only goes so far as it doesn't impact your enjoyment of things in general.

You're very aggressive, no?

Agree to disagree. I'll be checking in with you on Foodspin for inspiration for my Super Bowl party.

But people who would judge you for having more than one drink (over what I'm assuming is several hours) are kinda fucked up, no? Shouldn't you assume, unless you're warned otherwise beforehand, that your girlfriends parents are normal people who will not think you're a degenerate for being an adult who can enjoy…

Burneko seems to be assuming an extraordinarily low tolerance. One drink across an entire event? Not even a cocktail before dinner followed by a drink (of wine or beer) or two during the meal? I say that if you can't have more than one drink with your girlfriend's parents then you're trying to get into the wrong…

Oh for fuck's sake. THIS is the exact type of comment people are talking about when they talk shit about Jezebel commenters.

Not only do you get paid, but there's a free snack! (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist)

These people spell like aliens just taking their best guess.

They make sexy robots now? Cool.

Turns out I don't even exist.

See what you did, Republicans? Lack of funding for science education is hurting small business now.

So the nearly complete disappearance of Ja Rule is just a side effect of global warming?

Ha, yeah. I saw that guy. The funny part is that I think (I hope?) I know what he's getting at as far as boners sometimes being especially raging and the very minor problems that they can sometimes (but usually don't) present, but I'm sure as shit not jumping in to defend Throbbing Boner Guy's point.

You seem super cool and probably don't scream a lot for no good reason.

Maybe you should just read the article before you get worked up over the headline, eh?

You can absolutely joke about boners. They're not as funny as balls, though.

No, that's really not it. It's that, for no good reason, you're hostile to actual people who are just coming by to talk about the subject of the post and share their perspectives. There's just no reason to be rude, but you seem to be hell bent on it.

Ok? I don't really get your hostility to men chiming in on a post that's written by a man and literally about condoms and their fit, but you do you I guess.

I find it hard to believe you don't care about the boners of the people you're having sex with. Seems like weird sex!