While the idea that condoms won't fit on your penis is certainly false, there are definitely brands that I've found to be uncomfortably snug. So, you know, I buy different ones. Pretty simple life hack, really.

More like NKOTB-list, amirite?

I was scrolling down hoping to find exactly this.

Came here to say exactly that. Kudos for being rational about cooties.

I'm waiting for the quantum-locked TVs that are only on when you're not looking at them.

But shouldn't more women on campus lead to more opportunities for guys to get laid, thereby decreasing their desperate need to smash pussy at all costs? This makes no sense, Phyllis.*

There is no spoon, Adultosaur. There is no spoon.

Yet again, people are emphasizing women's roles in avoiding rape as opposed to teaching boys that it's never ever OK to commit a sexual assault.

Barry - there's a great piece from this time last year over on Amazin' Avenue all about the nonsense myth that Piazza's power numbers mysteriously came out of nowhere. It makes the fact that he wasn't a first-ballot HOFer even more ridiculous than it already is.

I never thought I'd be so disappointed to see absolutely no mention of vagina dentata.

I think it's a mistake to look at a song like "Ohio" and say it wasn't that big a hit because it peaked at #14. Setting aside the fact that charting that high does count as a big hit, you have to remember that those charts count how it did strictly as a single. It was probably played a ton on FM radio, which was more…

Oh, so you're the other idiot who got one of those? Nice to meet you, brother.

Obviously this is demeaning in every way imaginable, but let's suppose for a moment that there were some value making virginity a requirement for civil servants. I suppose the idea would be that you only want people who are "unspoiled" in some way to get these positions. So, starting from that assumption...

I'm a little torn here. On the one had, Joni Mitchell is insufferable and mediocre. On the other hand, I'd rather be waterboarded while listening to Joni Mitchell than listen to most pop music. Real pickle, this.

Definitely the clearest way to show that you're a bunch of dicks.

I'd walk a mile (the distance from a bachelor's sink to his garbage pail) for a Camel!

Crazy Steve - look at the obvious troll user name and DO NOT ENGAGE!

Sorry for cutting people with small children a little temporary slack, I guess?

Seems like Thomas Ley is a touch defensive about this name stuff.

You guys aren't being fair to Ann. She knows more about what to say to get attention than any of us ever will.