This is when being in the grays is shitty. I made the same comment at the same time and you get all the credit. You are now and will forever be my mortal enemy ;)

You've got to look at the positives, though. The dude dressed up as Ray Rice and didn't even wear blackface!

At some point in the abortion "debate" I ceased to have the ability to be articulate about anti-abortion politicians and have only been able to say "fuck these fucking fucks" and pass out from bewilderment.

"This has got to be a new low, even for Irsay. He's a billionaire who drives a Toyota Highlander!?" - Jalopnik

Of course Jodi Ernst wouldn't put up with sexual harassment. I mean, she has a whole commercial touting her love of performing castrations.

I'm not a doctor, but...couldn't they just wait a few days and return to business as usual? The virus can't live outside the body more than a few hours on a dry surface (per the CDC).

Conspiracy theories are embarrassing. They lost because they scored FGs instead of TDs, not because the world is against them.

We've had some quality losses this year! So tantalizing! So much swearing!

You're the kind of Jets fan who makes it embarrassing for me to be a Jets fan.

To be fair, it would be a little unnerving to look across the stage at the guy you're debating and know he's getting his dick blown the whole time.

+1 Ascension Dunk

That argument is obviously cover for the real argument, which is "yeah, but he's really good at football".

If my experience is any guide, this would be by far the sexiest thing that ever happened at a bachelor party.

At those salaries I think it's more like Old Navy.

EVERYONE kinda likes that one!

Bro-tox sounds like the world's worst slang term for semen.

It may be the least of the problems with this du rag, but...Nightwalker?!?

Yeah, but it's a lot to ask of him to be able to hide it. That is most of the population.

Oops. I was only looking at the byline on top. I assumed one of the writers was just choosing to do this as a character.

It's probably for the best that nobody will ever know who wrote this.