But if you have to ask for consent, you might not receive it. And that is simply an unacceptable state of affairs for a rapist. Seems like you haven't considered it from their point of view, tbh.

That second paragraph just got Mark uninvited from any and all future Jezebel staff weddings.

"Though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not."

I like this story because I rarely get the opportunity to see human feces outside of the toilet setting. It's a refreshing perspective!

Or I could take $100 and make better pasta at home and still eat my fill over the same period.

I guess it's not really weird, but I love listening to my girlfriend shut someone down in an argument. After that happens we need to immediately head someplace where pants are not required.

The phone still isn't as old as her hairstyle. #sickburn

Her mother also reportedly loved lamp.

Seems like a pretty Nice Guy to me.

So happy they had Dmitri Patterson.

Right? If I were a woman I think I'd want to get off first most of the time specifically so that I'd have a chance to get off again.

Simultaneous orgasms are cool for sure, but it only happens occasionally. It seems like making that the goal would be inviting frustration.

You're right in that I phrased it poorly. Instead of bad ass, I should have said tough guy or something else that expressed his desire to be perceived as tough in a masculine way.

Rooting for her to what? Beat the odds and record a decent song after 15 years of garbage?

I know what you mean, but I think one of the big reasons people keep at it is because Bieber himself wants so badly to be thought of as a bad ass. Which he seriously is not.

Because they're not poking fun at being violated. They're poking fun at the reputations of people who weren't violated. See how it's different?

I know Mark is working the gross out beat, but how in the hell is he the one writing this post?

The University of Michigan regrets to announce that piles of leaves will be removed from campus this fall, as preliminary data suggests they will fail to pass the fire safety test.

Stupid haters.

I will bet you all of the money that her friends have been hoping she wouldn't go through with it since the moment they found out she was engaged.